Just Say No To Welfare

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I recently had a conversation with a very liberal, borderline communist, hipster friend. I only consider him a “friend” because he’s got a killer cocaine connection, and those are hard to come by. In this particular awkward “I associate with you, but we have nothing in common” conversation, he professed his utopian wet dream of a socialist welfare state that provides all the necessities of human life to everyone.

“We live in the wealthiest country in the world, but the ultra rich control all the resources. If we took the power back, we could feed the whole world. No one would ever need to live in poverty again.”

I try not to get trapped into any particular political ideology, but when people say really dumb shit, I’m compelled to bitch slap them with the knowledge of an informed opinion.

A total welfare state is fucking ridiculous. Sure, a little welfare here and there is a good thing. People get fucked over by life all the time. Sometimes they need a little help while they get back on their feet. But creating a permanent unrestricted welfare system is one of the worst things that could ever happen to society. Do you know why?

Because it’s fucking awesome.

Yeah. I said it. Welfare is fucking awesome. That’s why it’s bad for society. Most things that are really awesome are bad for you. Why do you think heroin is illegal?

If the government gave me a bunch of money because I couldn’t find a job, I would stop looking for a job. I would burn my resume, pick up some hookers, do a shit ton of drugs, and call it a life. That’s exactly the problem with any sort of welfare system. The world is full of people just like me. People who don’t need welfare, but want to get paid to sit around and do nothing. Inherent human laziness ruins any kind of universal welfare system.

There’s an interesting article by Sylvain Charat called “In France’s Welfare State Status Quo, Are We Seeing America’s Future?” You can check it out at Forbes.com here.

The basic point of the article is that welfare does not significantly affect the poverty rate. For many people in France, welfare benefits are even better than working at a minimum wage job. If welfare pays the same as working, who the hell would want to get some shitty job? I’d rather just sit around all day and get paid to masturbate.

For those of you too lazy to click on a link and learn about the world, here’s some copypasta:

In 1990, 13.8 percent of the French population was poor; in 2009, the percentage was almost unchanged at 13.5 percent. In 20 years, poverty did not decrease, despite all the welfare payments…

…In practice, France’s welfare system is a failure, and there is an economic explanation for this. Welfareship does not create wealth; there are no incentives to create wealth. Despite its good intentions, welfareship has created a “poverty trap”… Since work cannot significantly bring a real improvement in daily life, it is better to stay “poor” and do nothing, which is not rewarding. Assistantship becomes more important than entrepreneurship.

Welfare seems like a great idea on paper, but in practice it doesn’t significantly affect the poverty rate. All it does is create a large class of useless people that is entirely dependent on the government. The worst part is that political candidates can easily buy elections by promising to increase welfare benefits for poor voters.

If I was poor, I’d vote for the guy who promised me a bigger allowance. I wouldn’t even care what his policies were, as long as I got more money from the government. He could rape babies and feast upon the entrails of virgins for all I care, as long as he gave me more money to do nothing. The 2012 election foreshadows the class warfare that will continue to divide America on this issue. Your perspective depends entirely upon which side of the poverty line you stand.

Considering most of you are in college reading this article on a computer or a smart phone, it’s not hard to guess which demographic you fall into. Welfare sounds great. It seems like a really good heartfelt idea. But the problem is that once it gets rooted in society, it can grow out of control, and you will be the one paying the bill.

America is the land of opportunity, not the land of free handouts. If you bust your ass, you can succeed. You can innovate…create a business. The risk is that you suck at what you do and fail. That’s part of life.

Welfare is like a drug. As long as it’s used in moderation, it can be a positive thing. However, if things get out of control and you get addicted to it, it can ruin your life and even your nation.

So remember kids, just say no to welfare.


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  1. 7
    DFlo

    Excellent article. Welfare is inherently good, but only for the select few who actually need it between jobs

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 2
    Alpha Frat

    This is the 47% that Romney was talking about. People on welfare and low-income do not have any skin in the game. Fuck Obama, I’m convinced he is intentionally trying to ruin the US.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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