Kansas Students Victimized By Pro-Trump Chalk Because Life In America Has Never Been Easier

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Last week, students at Emory University in Georgia were brutally assaulted (metaphorically, but that’s basically irrelevant at this point) by the words “Trump 2016” being displayed in sidewalk chalk on their campus. Now, it seems, sidewalk chalk has unleashed its campaign of terror on the University of Kansas. The Chalkacaust (trademark pending) has descended upon our amber waves of grain.

Many Kansas students were stabbed in the face, burned, and buried in unmarked graves (again, metaphorically, but barely) by the Trump supporters who had the nerve to voice their opinions on the campus. Suffice it to say, this “Trump 2016” sidewalk chalking was the Rape of Nanking of Lawrence. (I mean, it wasn’t at all, but you should still just suffice it to say that it was, because oppression is oppression is oppression, no questions asked, because whoever asks them is a bigot.)

After being viciously clubbed with a broken table leg to within an inch of her life (metaphorically), one KU student said the Donald Trump graffiti may as well have been a Confederate flag.


A former KU student senator was shoved feet first into a wood chipper while people tossed beehives at her (metaphorically) when she saw the Trump 2016 chalk messages, and tweeted the following.


The Invisible Hawks — KU’s requisite student organization dedicated to making random demands of the university based on 19 years of childhood and zero years of professional or administrative experience — were all (metaphorically) shot out of a cannon into a knife warehouse that then fell into a sinkhole, was filled back up with garbage, and paved over to become a parking lot for an Applebee’s by the Trump 2016 graffiti. So much so were they brutalized by the chalk that they suggested the university should intervene.


And so there you have it. This is what happens when the first amendment is allowed to run wild on campus. The entire school becomes overrun with Klan members riding dire wolves that they’ve trained to eat minorities and their allies. Metaphorically. But only sort of.

When will the madness end? Is chalk on the sidewalk really worth the blood (metaphorically) in the streets?

[h/t Campus Reform]

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