Kappa Sigma At South Alabama Hosts Alcohol-Free Super Bowl Party, Cops Attend

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In an effort to gain the good graces of the town and university, the Kappa Sigma fraternity at the University of South Alabama threw an alcohol-free Super Bowl party to “raise awareness about the perils of abusing alcohol and drunk driving.” The local police department attended to show support for the cause and say a few inspirational words about the dangers of alcohol. It went off without a hitch.

And before the ‘NF’ bombs rain down on these forward-thinking, upstanding members of the Greek community, taking a day off from the sauce to win over the locals and grab headlines in a positive light is a worthwhile endeavor. Some of you guys could learn a thing or two from this chapter.

You see the above photo, and I know what you’re thinking: “Wow, they even convinced the Mobile Chief of Police to show up to this fraternity house shindig and provide a quote or two.” That’s not the chief, though. This portly ass assassin with the fire red walrus ‘stache and the appearance of a beer guzzling savant is Kappa Sigma member Sean Moore, and he worked the party like a seasoned, glad-handing politician.

No beer. None. However, they did serve ‘beverage.’

There were red cups of beverage, plenty of pizzas, and the big game on a big screen, but not a drop of beer.

Beverage? They served beverage? Yeah, beverage.

___

“Sweet party. What you guys got to drink?”

“No beers, man.”

“Bummer. What do you have?”

“Well, we have have all the beverage you can shake your dick at.”

“Hell yes. Pour me up.”

“Here you go. Put your lips around THAT.”

“Hey, careful, man. There’s a beverage here.”

___

A certain subtlety about this news piece that the layperson will not recognize is the remarkable composure displayed by Sean Moore during the interview. No one in this country — I repeat, no one — with a mustache piece like Mr. Moore’s doesn’t hammer down cold beers regularly. I’m guessing that 45 minutes after the news crew packed up their shit and left that Moore was shirtless with a cowboy hat on, singing Garth Brooks at the top of his lungs with two beers stacked in each hand.

“We want to show everybody (fraternities are) not just a bunch of drunks, we give back to the community, we care about them,” said Moore. [...] “You do not have to drink to have fun, we want to show everybody that, not just students here on the campus of South Alabama, but the citizens of Mobile, Alabama community,” said Moore.

Spoken like a future politician.

[via Fox 10]

Image via Fox 10

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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  1. 62
    brophecy foretold

    Every fraternity should do this at least once if not at least once a year. Its the same concept as the mandatory community service projects except instead of helping the community we’re helping Greek life by collectively bullshitting the community as a whole.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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