Some slampiece tried to be cute by saying to me “is that an ice in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?” The answer was both. After she finished the ice she stayed on her knees to suck me off. TFM
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Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.