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Kim Jong-un Develops Super-Strength Viagra, Plans To Sell Them To The West

Kim Jong Un Has North Korea Develop Super-Strength Viagra, Plans To Sell Them To The West

Kim Jong Un has a master plan to stimulate the flaccid economy of North Korea: boner pills.

Kimmy hopes to sell these bad boys to the western world and promises they’ll do more than just prepare your missile for blastoff.

From Mirror:

As well as “enhancing the sexual function of the elderly”, the pill’s Pyongyang-based manufacturers claim it can reduce tiredness, build muscle, improve brainpower and provide essential nutrients.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Roksong Hi-Tech Company says it will also aid sleep and banish car sickness.

It can reduce tiredness AND work as a sleep aid? I guess it depends on the time of day you pop the pill. If that’s not miraculous, I don’t know what is.

It also builds muscle. Imagine strolling into the weight room fully erect, thwapping yoga balls out of the way with your engorged vein cane. You’ll show the beta males in the gym how to crush reps like a real man while simultaneously showing them the serious muscle you’re working with below the belt. Bonus: No one will ask you for a spot on the squat rack again.

Directions for use:

1. Worship Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.
2. Eat many pill.
3. Make sex long time.
4. Think about handsome Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.
5. Finish.
6. Worship Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.

Put me down for 1,000.

[via Mirror]

Image via Twitter

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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