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Kim Jong-un’s Wife Hasn’t Appeared In Public In 7 Months (She’s Probably Dead)

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From The Independent:

The wife of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has not been seen in public for seven months prompting speculation that she is either pregnant or has fallen out of favour.

Experts monitoring the situation in Pyongyang have suggested Ri Sol-ju, who was introduced as First Lady in 2012, may have fallen out with Kim Jong-un’s younger sister, Kim Yo-jong, who is increasingly regarded as the power behind the throne.

Kim Yo-jong was put in charge of North Korea’s Propaganda and Agitation Department last year and is responsible for building up her brother’s cult of personality.

Did Kim Jong do it again or did Kim Jong do it again?! I love stories like this so much and I’m ashamed but at the same time I’m not ashamed. It’s not that I enjoy reading about innocent people being brutally slaughtered by an evil dictator; it’s that I’m a big Kim Jong-un guy. Big. Everyone knows that about me.

I don’t respect anything about what he stands for or the way he treats his people or his general demeanor or approach to dictating, but I respect the way he does business. It’s his way or the highway, and by “highway” I mean he makes you disappear. And no one says anything about your disappearance because they’d also disappear.

I see a headline about Kim Jong-un possibly offing a close family member and I’m clicking it every time. I want to know why and I want to know how. The “why” is usually something really funny like they fucked up his coffee order. The “how” is usually something awesome like they strapped him to a rocket and fired him out into the North Pacific.

Imagine being so untouchable that very literally everyone in your life that you ever come in contact with has to bend over backwards to please you at all times, and if they fail to do so, they are disposable and no one even bats an eye. Every North Korean citizen is aware that his wife is missing but no one is saying shit. You can’t or you’ll be chopped up into a million pieces and fed to the wolves just like she was.

By the way, “fallen out of favour” is a fancy way to say “this bitch is absolutely dead.” She’s not pregnant. She’s dead and no one will ever find her corpse. Dead. Gone.

Kim Jong-un is a world class lunatic and he runs an entire country. Think about that. Long live the Supreme Leader.

[via The Independent]

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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