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Leaked Pike Rush Document Is The Most Try-Hard Thing You’ll Ever Read

Screen Shot 2014-04-29 at 12.44.16 PM

 

Behold, the most stereotypical Pike document in the history of Pike.

Click image to enlarge.
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A few of my favorite gems:

Tool, lifted truck, pike material…Girls always text him first.

He’s the kinda guy who won’t go to the gym in a shirt with sleeves. He’s literally just like me, that’s why we’re best friends lol. WE NEED THIS K

Stud. Jacked. Genius. Chill-to-pull ratio 5:5.

I have to say, the UF Pikes sound like a bunch of macho men. I’d love to sit in that hash meeting. “Bro, he’s a complete tool.” Sounds like Pike material to me, bid!

 

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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