Leaked Texts From Fraternity Rush Chair Show New Level Of Trying Too Hard

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Believe it or not, we try to adhere to a certain moral code here at Grandex. It’s rather sparse, admittedly, basically stating “Don’t intentionally call someone out unless they truly have it coming.” We do have a code in place, though, and we often take it pretty seriously.

This story sits right in the gray area of said code. I don’t believe the originator of this leaked text conversation to be a bad guy. He’s not a scumbag or a criminal, at least from what we can tell in these four screen shots. He’s not using aggressively racist terms or discussing the distribution of hardcore narcotics. He doesn’t mention poaching V-cards from freshman or using roofies to “nail slams.” He’s simply trying to rush someone whom he thinks is an available rush prospect. It’s just the way he does it that is so embarrassingly awesome that I have to share.

Also, a new phrase is born.

This tip came in late last night:

The [name of fraternity redacted] spring rush chair at [name of school redacted] was texting one of my [name of fraternity redacted] pledges this past few days thinking that he hadn’t signed this past fall. [name of fraternity redacted] is known for being super douchey and signing anyone that comes anywhere close to them. For instance, last year they signed 81 pledges when the average for ok state is about 40. I have also attached a picture of the “frat star” behind the texts.

Here’s the text conversation between the rush chair and the pledge:

Screen shot 2013-11-26 at 3.28.49 PM

Did you read that first line in the Wedding Crashers “Trapster, it’s Sack!” style like I did? Can you say babes and booze?

Screen shot 2013-11-26 at 3.29.12 PM

Dude’s got a crush on the Chubbies King.

Screen shot 2013-11-26 at 3.28.26 PM

Phi Tau can’t even hold their fratty cocks. This pledge — I assume the pledge is actually engaged in this conversation, although it’s plausible that an active commandeered his phone by this point — is playing along really well. He set the hook early, and he’s letting this kid run the line out as far as he’ll take it. He even uses “videogame” as a verb. Nice form.

Screen shot 2013-11-26 at 3.29.28 PM

Hottest sorority at their school and ranked #10 in the Big 12 — thanks for reading my hottest sororities lists by conference, you fratty motherfucker. I bet these guys just run through those top house Gamma Phis, man. Chi Omega is a top house, too, but they can’t hang. Be gone, Chi Os.

You just know this dude wears Chubbies, don’t you?

***

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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