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Let’s Stop Making “Star Wars Day” A Thing

star wars day chewbacca

May the 4th be with you!

Never before has such a lackluster pun received so much positive attention. It’s not even the best bad May pun! That “award” goes to this turd:

Like he did to all the other no-name losers in NSYNC (Backstreet Boys? 98 Degrees? Howie Day? I legitimately don’t know which one he was in nor the difference between any of them), J.T. continues to steal thunder. I respect him and that intentionally bad joke, because he clearly knows how bad it is and embraces its shittiness.

That’s not what’s going down today, May 4, which is now called “Star Wars Day.” These people are serious.

The Star Wars community has embraced this pun so much that they’ve unofficially named May 4 their most sacred holiday. Star Wars Day is celebrated with shopping deals. It’s celebrated with parades. It’s celebrated with playing dress-up. It’s like some Christmas/Independence Day/Halloween hybrid designed exclusively for profiting off virgin nerds.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t have a problem with nerds, their nerdy passions, or their typically weak sexual histories. Nerds developed all the technology I use, including the cameras my favorite pornos were filmed on; I respect that, and it excuses them from liking weird shit as far as I’m concerned. I hate Star Wars Day solely because that stupid pun is so damn shitty.

That joke was funny the first time I heard it when I was like 8, then never again thereafter. How can these wahoos keep making it every single year while acting like it’s some incredible gem fit for inclusion in the pun hall of fame alongside such legends as “____er? I hardly know ‘er!” and every other line from the movie Airplane!? Unfathomable. It’s a truly terrible joke, and not in the “so unfunny it’s funny” way. It’s overused, overhyped, and underwhelming garbage.

Let’s retire this pun, and let’s stop making Star Wars Day a thing.

Image via Shutterstock

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