Mailbag: A Girl Beat Me Up Badly During Sex And I Made Her Cum, Now I Need Help

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Another horny emailer writes in, another Mailbag question answered. With fear of being pigeonholed as some sort of sex psychologist for the twisted 19 to 23-year-old demographic, I will keep answering your questions as long as you keep writing them. Today, we read an email from Matt, a college student who had a sexual run-in with a physically abusive young lady. She beat the piss out of him, if you’re to believe Matt. He wasn’t all that into it, but she enjoyed it so much, even telling him she was “gonna cum so hard,” that it’s got him on quite the ego trip.

The email is below.

Hey Rodge,

Even though I’m pretty sure you make these things up I’m having a little dilemma and figured why the fuck not ask for advice.

I go to a pretty small state school 3500 kids, with an even smaller representation of greek life (2 fraternities and 3 not so attractive sororities). Anyways, a bunch of my Brothers are on the rugby team and so we were at a party of theirs the other night, getting shit cocked cause its finals week, Take this girl home with literally no effort, she just kinda started leaning on me at the party and it was on. Completely out of left field but I was drunk enough and she wasn’t terrible looking (about a soft 7) and I’ve kinda been in a dry spell for the ages so I rolled with it.

Went back to her apartment, fucked her brains out. She was a biter, like I thought she was going to rip my lip off with her fucking teeth. I was not into it, by the time I got home and looked in the mirror my lip was so swollen it looked like I had Angelina Jolies DSLs. She was also a scratcher, I look like the wolverine went to town on my neck, ears and back. She also got a couple of closed fist punches in. Shit fucking hurt, but at the same time it hurt worse when she was really liking what I was doing (same thing with the biting). And the dirty talk, “I’m gonna cum so hard” “you have a huge dick” (I’m like 7 and 1/4 so above average but not a horse), there was more but those were the repeats over and over.

Walked out of there feeling like a stud and a half, but in serious pain. The sex itself was average at best from my perspective, but I just cant shake how much she was into it. Did the same stuff I’ve always done, but this chick was way more responsive than any of the other brods. I want to bang her again just so I can get that I”m the fucking man sensation, but at the same time I’m scared she might actually rip something off of me this time.

What should I do Dorno? Feel like the man and be in pain or just try for some other piece of strange that just kinda moans, shakes and passes out?

It’s been brought up a few times that the emails I share are fabricated. I assure you, they are not.

Alright, so it’s obvious what you’re doing here, Matt. You don’t really have a question for me, do you? This isn’t about the girl who allegedly put a beating on you during sex. “What should I do Dorno?” You should shut the hell up. Maybe ask her not to bite or punch you during sex? Take the common sense route here? That’s my initial thought.

Again, you don’t have a legitimate question. This girl was simply a pawn in your little game–and that’s to announce to everyone that A) you got laid, B) you’re good at sex, and C) you have the ability to make all girls climax like you were born with a magical dick.

(I’m like 7 and 1/4 so above average but not a horse)

I hate your guts, Matt. Truly.

Oh, and you haaaad to mention that her dirty talk included her saying she was “gonna cum so hard” and of course that you had a “huge dick.” And you’re just going to nonchalantly slip in that, instead of going for round 2 with the fem-Floyd Mayweather, you may settle for a girl who just “moans” and “shakes”? Like it’s so easy to get a shaker. Okay, dude.

I go to a pretty small state school 3500 kids, with an even smaller representation of greek life (2 fraternities and 3 not so attractive sororities).

Y’all see what he did here? Without announcing exactly where it is he attends college, he gave just enough information about it so that the students of that school will be able to figure it out. “Oh shit, that’s ______ State,” someone will soon say on ______ State campus. Then the campus will be abuzz with talks of Matt’s abilities in bed. Out of roughly 1,750 male students at that school, there has to be, what, 50 guys named Matt (Matthew)? And so the hunt begins for the Matt with the super sex powers and a huge dick that gives shaking orgasms. He’s trying to use me to self-proclaim campus legend status. Not on my watch, Matt.

You’re slick, but you’re not that slick. And shame on you for trying to slip this by me. You should know better than that. No one’s having shaking orgasms with you, you average dicked bastard, and if she appears to be, she’s probably faking it. Girls fake it.

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