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Man Attacks Other Man With Bird Feeder For “Refusing To Party With Him”

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I almost never get invited to parties. It just never happens for me. I actually only got into my own nineteenth birthday party because one of my friends let me in the back door. My mom was pretty strict on the guest list that year. Because of my sad history with parties, I can understand why Dick Hill did what he did.

From Penn Live:

Richard Edgar Hill, of Peach Bottom, is accused of tackling an Avondale, Chester County man and hitting him in the head with the bird feeder, troopers said.

Hill assaulted the man because he was “refusing to party with him,” according to a press release issued by the state police.

Hill just wanted to party. He wasn’t invited anywhere, so he started his own. The dude who got a face full of birdseed is the real criminal in this situation. Who turns down an invitation to party? The way I see it, I wouldn’t want anyone who doesn’t want to party at one of my parties anyway. I’d probably just call him a nerd or something and walk away, not wail on him with an avian Arby’s. But to each his own.

I’d party with you, Dick, but let’s be honest–I’m probably not invited.

[via Penn Live]

Image via Wikimedia Commons

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

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