Man Busted Attempting To Smuggle $70,000 Worth Of Cocaine Inside Rum Cakes

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I’ve heard some crazy stories about how people smuggle drugs into our country, but this one takes the cake.

I can’t believe I just said that. God that was terrible.

Romel Samuels, 30, was picked to be searched by Customs and Border Protections officers after landing at New York’s JFK Airport. The two duty-free bag he was carrying, which contained two rum cakes, somehow caught the CBP officers’ attention.

From NY Daily Times:

“When one of the cakes was cut, CPB officers discovered a white pasty substance,” Homeland Security special agent Dan Donahue stated in the complaint.

That white pasty substance was, as I’m sure you guessed, cocaine. All in all, one and a half kilos of cocaine were found, which would be around $70,000 according to New York Daily News. I have to wonder if it would be worth more if it hadn’t been placed inside a cake. I don’t really know how the whole valuation process works.

When asked about the contents, Samuels said he’d been handed the cakes in Trinidad and was asked to transport them to New York. Likely story. I’m calling bullshit, of course. Nobody would just hand $70,000 worth or anything, let alone narcotics, over to a stranger and just ask them to carry them into another country. The dude was obviously in the know and just wanted to seem more innocent, which he clearly failed to do. He even went so far as to say that he thought the cakes contained something illegal but didn’t think it was drugs.

That makes a whole lot of sense. Someone asks you to bring something to another country, you don’t know what it is, you suspect it’s illegal, but you say “Fuck it,” and do it anyway. I highly doubt that story will help him any in court. I don’t want to jump the gun here, but I’m willing to bet that this dude is going to be looking at some hard time. I’m sure the “what are you in for” conversation will go over pretty well when he says, “Oh, you know. Smuggling coke in a cake.”

[via NY Daily Times]

Image via Shutterstock

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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