Last week, while trying to gain entrance to downtown Boulder’s famed Fox Theatre, William Everit Chavis, 21, presented bouncers with a license that didn’t appear to belong to him. A funny situation, because what kind of a moron uses a fake ID despite being of legal age to imbibe?
Per standard protocol for any asshole doorman hoping to prove himself the upholder of justice, Boulder County P.D. were alerted to the identity-faking attempt and arrived on the scene quickly. What then ensued is quite comical.
From the Daily Camera:
An officer talked to Chavis, then started to call the ID in to dispatchers, according to the report. As the officer was doing this, Chavis took off down 13th Street, police said, and jumped a wooden fence, losing his shoe along the way. Two officers in a patrol car saw Chavis running and attempted to follow him, but the fence broke, according to the report.
One of the officers saw Chavis run into the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at 1107 12th St. Two officers responded to the fraternity and found and arrested Chavis hiding in a closet. Police said he was no longer wearing the baseball jersey he had on when they first encountered him and was now wearing a shirt that was put on backwards and shoes that were several sizes too big for him.
So, I’m still trying to wrap my head around why a 21-year-old would posses a fake ID. Nevertheless, sounds like Chavis would definitely be considered in the novice ranks for a game of manhunt. I mean, if you’re running from the cops, the thing you don’t want to do under any circumstance is corner yourself somewhere with no way out.
Dude chooses to hide in a closet? Not smart.
However, I’ve got to commend him for his international man of mystery attempt with the clothing swap. Takes some pretty big brass ones to break into a house full of dudes, have the nerve to steal some of their clothes, and then remain there knowing the fuzz is hot on your tail.
Apparently he even told a few of the kids in the house that he was on the run from the cops. Stupid move, pal.
Three members of the fraternity told police they were sitting in the house when an out-of-breath Chavis “barged” in and sat down on the bed next to the door. They said at first they thought he was a pledge, but eventually realized they did not know him, according to the report. They told police Chavis said he was on house arrest and that he was running from the police, then took off his jersey and fled the room when he heard officers arriving.
Not knowing what your pledges look like. TFTC.
After a little help from the brothers, police apprehended the culprit and finally booked him on suspicion of second-degree burglary, first-degree trespassing, and obstructing a police officer.
The funny thing is, after detaining him, officers discovered that Chavis was not actually on house arrest and that the ID he originally presented was in fact his and cleared without any outstanding warrants.
He was however still on probation from a few prior assault charges, which may explain his apprehension when the police were called, but the fact that he was attempting to gain entrance to the Fox Theatre to see rapper French Montana definitely corroborates his unbridled idiocy.
Chavis is set to be formally charged today.