Yeah, so the dude was eaten alive by an alligator. Just going to come right out with it. No suspense. No frills. No catchy anecdote to build up to the meat of the story. Just the facts you came for. Guy jumps in. Guy doesn’t come out, you know, on account of being eating by an alligator.
A man in Texas was told repeatedly, and by multiple people, not to jump into the man-eating alligator infested waters because it was filled with man-eating alligators. The signs spread throughout the area that read “No Swimming – Alligators” didn’t deter him, and neither did the many pleas from bystanders. The man dropped his wallet, removed his shirt, then jumped into the water while yelling “Fuck the alligators!” He was promptly eaten by an alligator. Dead. Gone.
Orange County Police were called to Burkart’s Marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator.
Woodward’s body was found several hours later. The woman was not injured.
Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted “No Swimming Alligators” sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water.
“He removed his shirt, removed his billfold … someone shouted a warning and he said ‘blank the alligators’ and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help,” Price said.
It’s a sad story, sure, but it’s also kinda funny and it doesn’t make you a bad person for thinking it. Or maybe it does. Who knows.
The Darwin theory claims another, I guess. By the way, the Darwin theory can be a double-edged sword. While it can be beneficial to society to rid the human gene pool of inferior intelligence such as this, sometimes it’s simply fun to party with the guy who ignores blatant danger and swan dives into man-eating alligator infested waters.
We need guys like that. RIP..