It’s 2015, and I’m elated to announce to the world that there’s finally a pot-laced lube intended for sexual stuff, and it’s being manufactured right here in America. Absolutely ingenious. Banging out and smoking up are pleasurable pursuits on a mutually exclusive level, and now you can ratchet it up about 10 notches by catching a one-way train to Euphoriaville.
Ironically, the lube was created as a solution for women who have the horrible hardship of sexual arousal problems. Just as men can have the misfortune of being dysfunctional, it appears as if women can, too. The problem could be the result of a myriad of influences. Until now, unlike men who can take copious amounts of Viagra at liberty to treat what, without it, could be even the most extreme cases of sexually disappointing a woman, there is no FDA-approved drug that’s equivalent for women.
Foria, as it’s called, advertises itself as a female pleasure aid, but it’s hard to imagine that if it can throw a woman into the troves of ecstasy when applied that it wouldn’t do the same for guys.
Here’s what the stuff looks like:
So far, as you can imagine, the reviews for the lube speak to a highly enhanced sexual experience for users, who also reported heightened sensitivity in erogenous zones and other vivacious sensations that you would probably expect to feel when you get high as shit and have sex.
What a great idea. A little research yielded that infusing cannabis into oils for sexual rituals and stuff was actually a customary part of tantra practices from past civilizations, so Foria isn’t exactly a new idea. Still, I have to say bravo to the people who got together and decided this needed to make a modern day comeback. Honestly, how could you go wrong with this stuff? It’s like when you combine two things to make something even more awesome — like chocolate and peanut butter — but it’s extrapolated to the millionth degree.
The product is expected to hit shelves in Colorado this month during the X-Games, which start on Jan. 21. It will also be readily available online. That said, there’s probably a good chance that some really extreme kids are going to be born sometime around October 2015. The next Shaun White, Tony Hawk, Dave Mirra, and Travis Pastrana will most likely be in that crop of kids.