Mom warning you to be safe on New Year’s Eve because the family lawyer will still be on vacation. TFM.
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Convincing your parents to spend thousands of dollars so you can drink in a mansion throughout college. TFM.
Loudly announcing, “He was masturbating,” any time EMS has to come to the house to treat an injured brother. TFM.
Telling the pledges you’re giving up hazing for Lent, then reminding them you’re in a Jewish fraternity. TFM.