We had this ridiculous tip sent in by a reader today:
Sorority girl turned porn star. Yep—Meet Carter Cruise from East Carolina. Carter Cruise brings all whole new meaning to the word ‘sororstitute.’ It’s no secret sorority girls love getting laid. But Carter Cruise decided to go ahead and make a profession out of it. Carter, once seen on ECU’s campus at your typical Sig Ep or Phi Tau party, contributing to society in philanthropy events, and geared up in pearls and Jack Rogers attending class, is now the next up-and-coming sexual icon in the porn industry. Carter started her road to porn stardom in September 2013 and she doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. She already has thousands of twitter followers and tons of videos of her getting railed like a true sorority girl does. The sorority Carter is in will not be revealed on this post. Her sorority sisters play the embarrassed and ashamed card when it comes to having porn star alum. But why be ashamed? Carter is doing what every sorority girl does behind closed doors. Carter is just making money off of it. Fratters, keep railing sorority girls. You never know which one will learn enough from you that she will decide to go pro and become a porn star. Meet Carter Cruise everyone—look her up and whack off
I can’t tell if that’s legitimate enthusiasm for Carter Cruise, or simply a promoter trying to get us to show off their client. Part of me is a little skeptical about the possibility of the former, because nobody gets that excited about jerking off, right? I mean, I don’t even get that excited about whacking it, and I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty great at it, you guys. I do a quick, clean, quality job and hardly ever leave any belt bruises on my neck. Plus, I’m all about safety, which is why I bought a service dog to be my masturbation spotter. And don’t feel bad for the dog, because he lucked out. Instead of having to help a blind person every second of the day, Patches only spends like 30 minutes total helping me, in 15 separate, two-minute intervals.
Where was I? Right. Porn. It doesn’t really matter why someone brought Carter Cruise to our attention, but rather only that she was in a sorority before, and porn now. She has quite a career going for her already, so for some of the more accomplished pervs (most of you), Carter Cruise might not exactly be news. But whatever, porn + sorority = 100% chance of being published on TFM.
So, gents, meet Carter Cruise, one time ECU sorority girl and current up and coming adult film star…
…oh wait, you might have already met her, like when she was on TFM back in 2011, before her adult entertainment days.
Nowadays Carter is a little more grown up.
Wow. I’m impressed. Let me just investigate some of her film work…
*twenty-eight seconds later*
PATCHES! PATCHES, where are you? PATCHES, COME! COME NOW!