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  1. 21
    Frat Misogynist

    I once dated a fat chick in order to turn a figurative joke into reality. She was this chubby little Christian girl, the kind who are so easy to corrupt if you know what you’re doing. Anyway, I’d convinced her to blow me once or twice, never let me finish in her mouth though. Handjobs were pretty routine by now, but I’d been experimenting with sticking a length of thin wire in my dick while jacking off. So I’ve done this a few times, not very often, it just seemed like too much work. But one evening my parents were out for dinner and I invited chubby over. Later in the evening she’s looking to be in one of those moods, but when she reaches to unzip my pants I tell her to hold on. I pull this wire out of my pocket and work it into my urethra. At first she’s freaked out, but I convince her that it’s okay, that it makes it feel way better. She’s still a bit weirded out, but agrees to go with it. She works me to an erection and takes most of my dick in her mouth, the girl had definitely gotten better since I met her. She’s taking it easy, working up and down, licking the head, I tell her to watch the wire poking out most of my dick. It was fucking heavenly, this girl choking down my dick, my pisshole filled and stretched with every lick, every touch rubbed my stretched nerve endings. She keeps going at it, I’m about ready to cum when she tries taking me into her throat. I almost blow my load right there, but she keeps going. As I go into her throat about the fourth time I can feel myself cumming. Suddenly she takes her mouth off, gagging, I guess she wasn’t used to deepthroating yet. It was too late for me though, she coughed and looked at me. She started to say something, but all I could do is moan as I shot my load. Here’s the funny thing about putting stuff in your dick, whatever is in there when you come gets pushed out along with the jizz. Well, I hadn’t whacked off in a few days, and I was getting a blowjob, so you can imagine the force with which this metal wire was propelled forth from my dick. Essentially, I harpooned her in the eye with a length of soldering wire. It actually stuck in her eye for a few seconds before she knocked it out and ran off. The poor girl locked herself in my bathroom for almost 15 minutes, when she came out, oh lawd. She was quite pissed, understandably, she wouldn’t even let me apologize. Needless to say, we never really saw each other after that, she didn’t even talk to me for about 2 months after the incident. Seeing her at school the next day with an eye-patch was golden.
    Anyways, I took the joke “Man the harpoons!” to a new level.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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