Put your red, white and blue pitchforks away, guys. Miss USA is a damn fine Miss Universe representative. I’m obviously very happy she won, and if it were based solely on looks, she was a top three lock anyway. Girl is fiiiiine. But after her evening gown walkway stumble and sloppily-crafted Q&A performance, a top three finish would be a win, at least in my opinion. I was ecstatic that she took home the crown.
It was the decision to rock this red number that put her grade A American kumquats on full display that I would attribute to her crowning. A truly great decision. Prime deep-V boobage right here on Olivia Culpo:
But. Got. Damn.
This tall, blonde, curvaceous glass of water with the Aussie accent stole the show. Total package. Equal parts grace and sex factor. It doesn’t make you less of a patriot to come clean with this realization. It just makes you a man (or woman who likes to party). She also killed the Q&A.
Then come to find out Miss Australia, Renae Ayris, placed third runner-up? What’s going on here? Did the Donald pay the judges off?
And some more love for our American winner: