Mizzou’s GDI Panty Thief Sentenced

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Last year, then University of Missouri freshman Kevin Waida was having the time of his life. He was finishing up his freshman year of college, partying as hard as someone can (not very) in the dorms, and secretly hoarding a king’s ransom’s worth of stolen panties. Yes, Kevin Waida was a panty thief. But isn’t that everyone’s freshman year? Full of innocent fun and sexually based legal offenses? No? Sorry Kev.

Not only did Waida’s freshman year end on a uniquely creepy note, but it was an excessively creepy one. According to initial reports Waida had stolen up to 200 pairs of panties from his dorm, Hatch Hall. That is determined, creepy, and obsessive. If anyone starts finding dead cats in Waida’s current neighborhood please alert the authorities. But really, dude was snagging more panties than the Underpants Gnomes.

I assume Waida’s step two was “masturbate endlessly.” Waida was eventually arrested for his sexdemeanor, I like to imagine by SVU’s Detective Stabler, and held at Boone County Jail until posting a $1,500 bond. He was charged with stealing and stalking. On November 7th Waida was finally sentenced.

Sophomore Kevin Waida pled guilty to misdemeanor stealing for the May incident, according to court documents. Judge Michael Bradley sentenced Waida to two years of unsupervised probation, during which Waida must report any arrests or summons within 48 hours.

Seems like a pretty light sentence, though I’m sure Waida had a clean record prior to making several hundred cotton and lace deposits into his spank bank. Now though, he’s a dirty, dirty boy.

(*shudders, runs home to take shower*)

God help this kid if he ever upgrades to stealing used vibrators.

[Source]

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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    • 4
      Fratting in 1868

      “Well it’s just…Ya see, panties are like…damnit, how do I explain this? Ok see, lets say I show you a picture of a hot woman? Like super hot, I’m talkin’ D’s, fat ass, nice legs, that go up to her perfect abs. And she is wearing this pair of lingere. While most guys would go for the girl, I would go for the panties. What I’m trying to say is, I stole a shit ton of panties. Huh, that was easier than I thought.”
      “Get the fuck out of our office…”

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago