More Than 1,000 Bodies Found Near Ole Miss Campus

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Nice Move

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God, I hate it when I’m surveying for a campus expansion and I suddenly exhume more than 1,000 corpses attributed to a lunatic asylum that was shut down in 1935. It really ruins my day. The University of Mississippi knows this feeling all too well, as recent expansion plans have come to a dead stop (LOL) thanks to a mass grave of what are so far assumed to be the deceased from the Mississippi State Lunatic Asylum.

Now, I don’t want to sound like a narrator for a shitty slasher movie here, but all this needs is a spooky night, some thunder and lightning, and a little bit of horror movie magic to turn into “Night of The Living Co-Eds”. On the positive side, the newest pledge activity in town could be protecting the frat castle from actual invasions by the unsettled living dead. Damn. That actually sounds like the plot for a great Z-grade horror film. Get on it, Ole Miss fraternities.

The collection of corpses is supposedly going to cost the university a staggering $3 million, or $3,000 per corpse, to exhume, relocate, and presumably bless with a priest so they don’t return seeking vengeance and brains. Also, maybe just some anti-anxiety meds, because they didn’t have those back then.

As a result of the stiff financial costs associated with relocating said stiffs, the university is planning to simply relocate the expansion to another part of campus–presumably to avoid both the financial costs of the move and to keep extra priests on staff to clear out all the hauntings that will assuredly result. That is how this whole thing works, right? My understanding of dealing with mass graves pretty much comes entirely from Scooby-Doo reruns, so I could be way off here.

Hopefully the university can find another fitting site without stumbling on more mass graves. The University of Mississippi is just begging some terrible indie director to come down there and do another found-footage horror movie with this kind of story, and the last thing you want to be known for is for a shitty found-footage horror movie.

[via Huffington Post]

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