If drinking was an Olympic Game ..I would have a Gold for Last Night in the “Make a Potent Drink And Puke In a Pledges Car” Category. TFM.
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Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.