If you’ve ever watched late night TV, you know that people are willing to do anything to lose weight and get in shape. There are a myriad of products and programs available that supposedly allow the user to shed pounds without diet and exercise. Now, an aspiring rapper from Dallas, Ballen, has a method that while not the most effective or scientifically proven, is certainly one of the funniest.
Ballen, formally known as Broderic Allen, has a weight loss method that doesn’t really go along with conventional wisdom. As many of you know, the consumption of alcohol is one of the easiest ways to gain weight. Don’t believe me? Try to put on a pair of khakis from the beginning of freshmen year. Ballen hasn’t given up alcohol. He just no longer drinks it. Instead, he “smokes his liquor.”
Mixing dry ice and liquor in a cup, Ballen creates an inhalable vapor rich in alcohol. By breathing it in, the alcohol goes straight to the lungs and into the bloodstream. In doing so, it gets the user much drunker, much faster. By going straight to the lungs, the alcohol completely bypasses the digestive system. Thus, no calories are absorbed.
Scientists and medical professionals — people who know this kind of thing a little bit better than our friend Ballen — aren’t too fond of this method. Your digestive system isn’t handling the alcohol, it’s going straight to your bloodstream without any filtration. While this is why it gets the user drunk faster, this also creates a great risk for alcohol poisoning. Of course, it’s also not that great for your lungs, but did you really think that breathing alcohol would be good for your respiratory health?
I actually did this once when I was in 9th grade. We weren’t trying to lose weight. We were just dumb 15-year-olds trying a new method of getting fucked up we’d read about on the internet. Honestly, it wasn’t really that great. Personally, I wouldn’t try it again. If 15-year-old me and some guy who calls himself Ballen will do it, it probably isn’t a good move.