As I type this, I’m literally 10 minutes removed from a 10 and 12 stroke thrashing of two of my coworkers, @WRBolen and @ChampsTourTFM. It was ugly, but it was commonplace. With my victory, I earned another $100 from Bolen, the fifth 100-dollar payout milestone I’ve reached since we began our daily golf rounds on the office Golden Tee machine. Each time I’ve reached a payout, I offer to switch from monetary bets to the standard gentleman’s bet — no money. His pride won’t allow him to give in, although taking money off the table is clearly the more sound approach to our inner-office battles. He keeps declining, and I keep depositing his checks. Bolen and I have been at it for about a year and a half now. Champ joined us a few months ago. Still a little wet behind the ears, he can’t quite score with us yet, but his game is progressing nicely. I’m only being kind. The dude sucks. We call him “Ol’ Four Putt.”
This isn’t about them, though. It’s about me. The main takeaway I’ve gotten out of these two is that I’m better than them, a lot better than them, so much better than them that I’ve often wondered to myself, and honestly even aloud and in front of them, “How good am I? Am I good enough for the pro tour?”
I don’t know the answer to that yet. When our machine went online over the summer, I quickly ascended to a world ranking of 2,546. Respectable, but I soon began to fall down the list as my game slipped some. I had a problem with right-breaking putts. It’s still my main weakness, but I’m coming around. My game is back and sharp again — I’m currently ranked 9,117th in the world — and I’m climbing the charts daily. I still don’t know if I’m good enough yet to challenge the real professionals, guys like Mark Stenmark, longtime #1 world ranked player with an average score of -30.0 per round. (Quick note: Mark’s GT nickname is “SUQ IT.” I mean, come on, Mark. So cocky, that guy.) Personally, I think the guy cheats. I’ve been assured he’s legitimate, however.
@RogerJDorn He's real and spectacular, I promise. Also, your update is coming SOOOOOOON.
— Golden Tee (@GoldenTee) November 5, 2013
Now, I’m not Mark “Cheater” Stenmark good yet, but I’m still better than you. Here’s an example:
You couldn’t hit that shot. But I hit it. That’s an ace on a 316-yard par 4 at Jackrabbit Junction. It really wasn’t all that hard for me, either. Just a firm 3-wood over some cacti, with backspin, a little kiss on the front edge of the green, spun it back, nothing but cup.
Then, of course, there was that time that I accepted a challenge from a Twitter follower from Miami — a $50 bet. He was in town visiting some friends, looking to have a good time, hang out at the TFM Headquarters, and try to take down your boy in a round of Golden Tee. It went poorly for him.
I beat him by 45 strokes. He paid up and even brought me some beer. Hahahaha, what an IDIOT. Only joking. Nice meeting you, Tony. You idiot. Later on, in mid-November, Golden Tee sent us the 2014 update. That meant five new courses for me to learn, master, and strum my coworkers on. I learned them. I mastered them. I embarrassed my coworkers on them.
And holes-in-one on deck:
Oh, what was that one? Another par 4, blind ace over some trees? You probably would have put bite on that shot, wouldn’t you? Not me. That’s why I’m better than you and 99% of all the other Golden Tee-ers out there.
Impressive stuff, sure, but am I there yet? Can I go toe-to-toe with the game’s best? Can I earn some supplemental income in local GT tournaments? I went straight to the source to find out.
— Golden Tee (@GoldenTee) December 20, 2013
Thankfully, I’ve got a refrigerator full of beer and nothing but time. Enjoy your time in the sun, Mark Stenmark. I’m coming for you. 2014 is my year.
For a limited time, and for TFM readers only, Golden Tee is offering $500 OFF the purchase price of a Golden Tee Home Edition, plus FREE SHIPPING, and because they’re good people, you’ll get a free t-shirt, too.
Contact Golden Tee HERE and let them know you heard about the deal from TFM.