Nation’s #2 Football Recruit Shuns Tide for Auburn

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Nice Move

It’s been a tough Thursday in the Saban household. As my colleague reported earlier today, Kristen Saban, daughter of Alabama head football coach The Nicktator, will soon face assault charges for going American History X on a sorority sister. Nick Saban’s wound was exposed and gaping with the news of his daughter going nationwide, then Reuben Foster backed up a truckload of salt to dump in it.

Reuben Foster is a 5-star linebacker out Georgia, and he’s ranked as the nation’s #2 overall prospect. He called a press conference for Thursday afternoon to announce his Bama de-commitment and subsequent commitment to a different program. Speculation was building and the new frontrunners were thought to be Auburn and Georgia. He chose Auburn. Nick Saban’s head exploded. And a gasoline-soaked log was thrown onto the blaze of this already bitter rivalry.

“Over the last several weeks, I’ve really put a lot of thought and time into where I want to go to continue my football career,” Foster said. “I am blessed that I have the situation where I have several great opportunities and I appreciate everyone that attended this and who has helped me get to this point.

“I want to make an announcement so I can put this behind me and get to work on what I need to do to prepare for college both academically and athletically.

“I am going to enroll at Auburn University.”

Has Nick Saban’s contract with the devil finally expired? Don’t count on it. This is merely a speed bump for college football’s greatest coach. It does sting, though. This kid is a heat-seeking missile. Check out his highlights here:

And if you see Nick on the streets, just avoid eye contact. You’ll be safe.



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    • 1

      #22 I bet he also played some RB, and probably destroyed tacklers in hilarious fashion. I’d like to see that reel as well.

      This kid is going to be fucking hated by the Alabama fanbase.

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • -6
      Tallapoosa Snu

      Nick Saban is never fucked. He’s one of the best coaches ever. I wish Richt was more of a freakish football robot with no feelings or emotions. I love him, but he’s the kind of dude that puts a retarded kid in with 4 seconds left in the 4th quarter to jog in a TD. Saban is on the other side of the field saying “rip that fucking kid’s head off, I want a better point differential.”

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  1. -2
    Bill Fratsky

    His press release was identical to the press release issued by TJ Yeldon when he switched from Auburn to Bama… basically a giant “fuck you” to Bama.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago

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