New Bar Opens Up In Michigan, Doesn’t Serve Alcohol, Makes No Fucking Sense

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Nice Move

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When a party runs out of booze, you have approximately eight minutes or so to restock before a mass exodus takes place. Sober silence is deafening. That’s why this news out of Ann Arbor is altogether confusing.

From MLive:

Nic Sims, a former chef turned digital marketing director, launched a pop-up dry bar on Friday night at Mighty Good Coffee. What’s a dry bar, you ask? The simple answer is that it’s a bar that doesn’t serve alcoholic drinks.

“It’s an alcohol-free place for conversation and connection,” explained Sims. “I haven’t had a drink in 20 years, and I know a lot of people who don’t drink. I love to go out on a weekend, but not in a bar. I wanted a bar-like convivial atmosphere, with snacks and drinks and conversation, without it being a bar.”

I’m clearly not understanding the fundamental concept here. How am I suppose to drown out my overwhelming insecurities without bourbon? How is she going to laugh at my jokes without being a few vodka crans deep? If we hit it off and I take her back to my dojo, are we suppose to do the dirty sober? People have sex stone cold sober? That’s disgusting.

This sounds about as fun as a middle school dance. Sippin’ on punch, eating pretzels, people awkwardly standing around. Not really my thing, but apparently there are others that thrive in this environment.

Part of me kinda hopes this catches on. Is there anything worse than the dude sitting in the corner of a party on his non-drinking high horse? No, there is not. I cringe every time the words “I don’t need alcohol to have fun” are pompously uttered. Nothing ruins a good time quite like running into that guy or girl. They need a place of their own, where poetry slams and board game nights can be contained into one depressing establishment.

[via MLive]

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