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New Cock Ring Will Track Your Sexual Performance And Share It With The World

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As guys, we tend to exaggerate when it comes to talking about our sex lives. Whether it’s our number, how long we last, or our general performance in the bedroom, we talk ourselves up to be God’s gift to women.

Though for me, it’s not an exaggeration. It’s the cold hard truth.

What? Are you saying I can’t lay down the pipe like a pro? And how are you going to prove otherwise? Do you have some type of statistical proof?

From Engadget:

British adult retailer Bondara is leading the charge, showing off a prototype activity tracker and sex toy that goes on the gentleman’s region. The SexFit is a ring that sits at the base of the penis, trapping blood for better, uh, erections, but also packs an accelerometer and Bluetooth module. That way, your in-and-out statistics will be shared with a companion app on a smartphone that’ll tell you your thrust per minute and even the calories you’ve burned. Oh, and you can even share those figures with your shocked friends on social media.

The hardware also vibrates, enabling you to set it at specific intervals, either for enhanced pleasure or so you can put the metronome back downstairs in the music room. There are even five LEDs that sit on top of the device that’ll light up when you hit a steady rhythm.

Shit.

So you want me to wear a cock ring to prove myself?

Um…well the ring vibrates. That’s got to factor into the numbers for something.

Wait, it lights up?

Why didn’t it light up for me?

Well, she was doing most of the work, so obviously my numbers are going to be low.

This posts to my Facebook?

[via Engadget]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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