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New Jersey Fraternity Spray Paints Beached Whale

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What kind of deranged lunatics spray paint their fraternity letters on the belly of a dead whale? What kind of monster does that to Free Willy? People, man. The worst.

From the Huffington Post:

The letters appeared to be Tau Epsilon Phi, a fraternity that has chapters at several area schools, followed by what looked like “94.”

[Fraternity] Spokesman Jesse Cohen says while it has not been confirmed that Tau Epsilon Phi members were involved, the fraternity considers it a “reprehensible act” contrary to its teachings and is cooperating with authorities.

This is an embarrassing story, even by New Jersey’s standards. I’m getting pretty sick and tired of all that state’s funny business. Stick to what you’re good at, Jersey: Bruce Springsteen and killing the fun in hockey.

Vandalize your pledges’ personal property, not dead animals, you weirdos.

It’s just a shame that George Costanza wasn’t on the scene to save the day. Is anyone here a marine biologist?

[via Huffington Post]

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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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