New Study Claims Being Greek And Having Rich Parents Makes You Less Successful

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We all know at least one person paying their own way through school without any financial support from home. You don’t? Actually, me neither. But according to a recent study, these mythical creatures will experience more success in college than the rest of us.

Laura Hamilton, an assistant professor in the School of Social Sciences, Humanities and Arts at the University of California at Merced (I thought I smelled a hippie) has collected data from three federal databases and compared parental contributions and grades.

The findings reveal that the more your parents love you during these four years, the more you apparently suffer academically. Students who invest their own personal money into their education supposedly value it more and focus their time on schoolwork, rather than partying. Of course there is no mention of how having to work a job (or three) affects that noble, independent student’s ability to focus on schoolwork.

There is also one GIGANTIC caveat to Hamilton’s study:

…the study found a positive association (even controlling for other factors) between increased parental contributions and graduation over five years. In an interview, Hamilton said that she explained this finding (even if apparently contradictory with the results on grades) because those with minimal levels of parental support have a much more difficult job paying for college, and those who can’t pay, can’t graduate. “Kids who don’t have funds, they don’t stay,” she said.

When someone is at an interview after college, I don’t think their chances of landing a job are going to be all that great if they have to say something like, “Yes, technically I don’t have a degree but I promise I learned SO much when I was in college and I’m totally super smart!”

Hamilton, overlooking the fact that the lowered graduation rates all but negate the usefulness of her findings, stresses that parents who do choose to be human ATMs should discuss with their children what is expected of them. Looking back at a similar conversation I had with my mother freshman year, it went a lot like, “Do your homework and marry someone with a Roman numeral.”

Hamilton even goes as far as pinpointing Greek Life as a major factor in her findings, as if we didn’t already assume she was a GDI. She’s currently co-writing a book to be published by Harvard University Press in April, arguing that “students who bypass the [Greek] system may suffer social costs, but are likely to emerge with a much better education.”

Perhaps our researcher has decided to overlook the fact that since 1825 almost every single US president has been Greek, and 85% of Fortune 500 executives were Greek. But that’s all in the past, I suppose. What about today? Well, currently, Greeks have a 20% higher graduation rate than non-Greeks and on the majority of campuses the all Greek GPA is higher than the all campus GPA. Oh, and we actually get jobs after we graduate.

Sorry I’m not sorry you never got a bid.

I speak from experience when I say the speed with which my parents transfer money from their bank account to mine when I iMessage them “SOS” has absolutely no negative effects on my grade point average whatsoever. Contrary to the study, experiencing a lack of said financial support (See: the night I blacked out and lost my Amex), was the one time I found myself blowing off studying for an exam. American Express, if you’re reading this, thanks again for overnighting it.

If this study does turn out to be true, one thing’s for sure, I’m ditching my fratdaddy for that cute male Starbucks barista. Assuming he graduates.

[via Inside Higher Ed]

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    • 0
      blackout_belushi

      Apple, Google, Facebook, Cisco, Intel, Hewlett-Packard, Oracle, Yahoo, Ebay, Adobe Systems, Netflix, Tesla, Twitter, LinkedIn, Kleiner Perkins. I think these companies and people running these companies here in California could tell you lazy alcoholics a little bit about success.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • -1
      rowdeygentleman94

      wow wow wow…. no reason to criticize California because of this one Geed. We have fraternities that get laid and party really really hard, all the time too! It just so happens that in exchange for our amazing climate and great beaches we have to deal with an excessive amount of liberal hippies idiots, its just the price us fratty republicans pay for living in paridise.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • -2
      CountryRob

      Rowdygentleman94, first off, you suck because you’re not even a full brother yet. It’s pretty obvious when you put 94 in your name. Second, accept the fact that you don’t live in the South and have real fraternities. Third, you wear tanks and don’t know how to tuck your shirt in or dress nice in general. Fourth, yall don’t even know to treat a woman like a lady.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  1. 34
    Tuco1855

    I don’t think being greek has anything to do with it. I think a freeloading kid can have a false sense of entitlement which can lead to a poor work ethic, but that only goes for the kids without a successful dad that cares to show his kid the ins and outs of corporate America.. IMO

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 15
    fumafounder

    My god I didn’t realize until “marry someone with a roman numeral” that a girl wrote this. why would you do this TFM!!!! Roger!!!! Fix it now!!!!!!!

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. 11
    Urine Asshole

    This woman is an associate professor at the worst campus in the UC system, and teaches a subject that no real-world person takes seriously. There aren’t a whole lot of people less qualified to decide what “success” means.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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