Nike Unveils Team USA World Cup Jerseys And They’re Classic, Badass

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Once again, the time is quickly approaching for a marginally larger amount of Americans to give a crap about soccer. With the 2014 World Cup only months away, Nike and Team USA released the first photos of America’s home kit today. The uniforms looks pretty great.


Looking pretty good there, America, though Nike usually knocks their uniform efforts out of the park–save for the occasional neon tragedy of an Oregon jersey. I’m waiting for one where all the duck feathers on the shoulder pads are machetes, because Nike has run out of ways to try and make a duck look intimidating. As for the American home kits, I’m an especially big fan of going back to the collared jerseys. It’s a classic look, and I’m definitely picking one of these up before June, because soccer! America.

Here’s a picture of American forward Jozy Altidore rocking the new jersey.

Hopefully the sharp home kits (and presumably our yet-to-be-revealed sharp road kits) give the Americans a little extra confidence heading into the Cup. The Americans are going to need it, as they drew the deadliest group of World Cup pool play in decades. The Americans will square off against arguably the best team in the world in Germany, and they will also face Portugal, which arguably has the best player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo. The Americans also drew their main 21st century soccer rival, a team that has given the Yanks all sorts of trouble over the years: England Mexico Ghana. Ghana?! Yeah, Ghana, who the Americans have fallen to in the last two World Cups.

Either way, the new unis look great, so there’s that.

Who am I kidding? Screw the uniforms. Just, for the love of God, don’t lose to fucking Ghana again. Caring about Ghana for two days in the last 12 years is more than any American should ever have to care about Ghana. We open pool play against the country with nearly one quarter the GDP of Kentucky on June 16 at 6 p.m. EST.

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