Offensive Halloween costumes are ruining this once great holiday. You’re a nice, respectable person — you don’t want to offend anybody with your 2016 Halloween costume, right? Halloween, at its core, is an inclusive holiday; it should be your goal to anger as few people as possible in the days surrounding Halloween 2016. With that in mind, definitely do not dress up as any of the following:
Better known as the Florida Frat Face-Eater, Austin Harrouff, an FSU fraternity member, recently murdered a couple and ate the face of the husband, all potentially the result of a drug trip gone wrong. There’s nothing funny about that whole situation, so definitely do not go as Austin Harrouff this Halloween. Despite the fact that you already own the requisite clothes, fake blood is easy to come by, and every self-respecting girl can make you look like a zombie with a little makeup magic, this is not a good costume. Don’t do it.
Harambe With Child In Tow
Regular Harambe made our list of the 5 most popular Halloween costumes of 2016. That costume is meant to honor a beautiful gorilla — a life taken from us too soon — so normal costumes are fine. But making fun of the events that led to our primate friend’s death by dressing up as a gorilla and dragging a child-sized mannequin around by the ankle? That’s abhorrent. This is just an awful idea. I don’t care that you could use the mannequin as a giant flask and fill it up with 5 gallons of jungle juice — stay far away from this idea.
Cincinnati Zoo Zookeeper
Don’t do Harambe With Child In Tow, but DEFINITELY don’t go as a Cincinnati Zoo Zookeeper this Halloween. Yes, I know that it makes a lot of sense to put on a zookeeper costume and go as one, seeing as there will be a ton of Harambes running around for you to shoot (RIP, sweet prince), but this is a very offensive costume. Animal rights activists will harp on you like you’re a Minnesota dentist recently returned from safari. Making fun of the assassination (that’s what this was, an assassination) of a beautiful silverback gorilla is ghastly. It’s not worth the risk of offending people, even though you could use your pellet gun to shotgun some beers.
Doesn’t matter. This is a costume you should avoid.
A Brazilian Woman With a Zika Baby Still Attached Via Umbilical Cord
Do I even need to explain why this one is offensive? Babies with birth defects caused by an unpreventable virus?! You’re a monster if you’re seriously considering going as this for Halloween. Sure, it doesn’t take too many props — just some maternity clothes, a pillow, some rope, and a baby doll — but that doesn’t mean you should go out in public dressed as a distressed South American woman whose life has just been ruined. You’re a monster if you’re actually considering going as this (Psst… don’t forget to slather the baby doll in red jello).
A Fraternity Member
If you really want to appropriate a culture this Halloween, go with the only one that’s safe to appropriate — fraternity culture. The crazy and unique thing about the appropriation of fraternity culture is that it’s acceptable for everyone to dress up as fraternity members; not just fraternity members. Have a problem with that? “Shove it up your beer-hole, you misogynistic, racist, elitist frat jerk!” In a weird twist of fate, for fraternity members, the most offensive costume they can wear for Halloween 2016 is no costume at all..