This year I am making pledges purchase a pair of cargo shorts. I will put bricks in the pockets. They will run in the cargo shorts, until they puke, every day for a month. Eventually they will be conditioned to feel nauseated every time they see a pair of cargo shorts. I call it Pavlov’s Pledges. TFM.
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Asking the ref what the mercy rule is after hitting a routine jumper to take a 2-0 lead. TFM.
Tending to a gruesome hand injury with SpongeBob band-aids, duct tape, and pulls of Fireball. TFM.
Explaining to your professor that you didn’t attend class when there was a substitute teacher out of respect for him. TFM.
Threatening your IM opponents with “Be ready to get dunked on,” despite clearly lacking the physical stature or athletic ability to dunk a basketball. TFM.
Members of Weston Golf Club calling the police because some people violated their no jeans policy. TFM.
Stating that you have a note from your doctor when your professor asks you why you’re clearly intoxicated in his class. TFM.