This year I am making pledges purchase a pair of cargo shorts. I will put bricks in the pockets. They will run in the cargo shorts, until they puke, every day for a month. Eventually they will be conditioned to feel nauseated every time they see a pair of cargo shorts. I call it Pavlov’s Pledges. TFM.
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Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
“That’s what I love about these freshmen girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” TFM.
Saying you “might make an appearance” when you fully intend on spending the majority of your night there. TFM.