There’s no way the term “singles bars” is younger than the women this man is hoping to be rejected by and/or shove into the trunk of his car. If any SLU girls hear what looks like someone’s older, recently divorced dad use the term “singles bars” grab your friends and run. My balls are getting puh-retty wrinkly and even I think that sounds like a term my parents would use if I were (still) single and crying by the Christmas tree at night while visiting home for the holidays.
Mom: Well Rob have you tried going to the singles bars in Austin? Maybe you can meet someone there.
Me: SINGLES BARS? WHAT EVEN IS THAT!?! WHERE DINOSAURS MEET? GODDDDDD! [sniffles] Sorry. I’ll look on the internet for them…
The term singles bars sounds like it died out in the early ’90s at the latest. This guy might as well have started out this post by asking, “Where are the local ladies’ saloons?” Or maybe just, “What’s the cost of a dowry for a learned female in this area?”
And, believe it or not, based on roughly eight seconds of detective work, it’s pretty clear this guy is, uh, definitely not starting at St. Louis University next fall.
Or if he is he’s really hitting the ground running, in terms of scoping out the random group sex with older bisexual married couples scene.
Man, I’m going home for Christmas tomorrow. I really hope this dude doesn’t see this and I end up like Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Red Dragon.” Getting murdered by a creep for content.
But hey, that’s just part of the life.