Old, Pervy Oakland University Student Suspended For Writing About How Hot His Teacher Is…For A Class Assignment

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From the NY Daily News:

Last Friday, Joseph Corlett, 57, sued Oakland University in Rochester for $2.2 million and four lost credits on the claim that his free-speech rights were violated when his creative writing essay, “Hot For Teacher,” got him kicked out of school.

Corlett, who enrolled in college due to the weak economy, said that students in the English 380 course were instructed to write “raw things, a personal diary that maybe we wouldn’t want anyone to read,” according to the Associated Press. An earlier essay of the same sort, about accidentally seeing a woman’s breasts, earned Corlett an A in the class.

Considering the subject matter Joseph Corlett wrote about, apparently “raw things” just meant “what you jack off to.”

However, the school suspended Corlett after “Hot For Teacher” compared Corlett’s female instructor to Ginger from “Gilligan’s Island.”

You know you’re an old creep when your sexual fantasies have Bob Denver in the periphery.

“I’ll never learn a thing,” he wrote of his concern of her distractingly attractive appearance. Corlett also described a different, pregnant instructor as “hot, and not just from baking the bun in her oven.”

Wow, that right there is poetry. Not classical poetry that you’d find in a leather-bound book, though. No, more like the sort of poetry a serial killer scrawls into his basement walls with a rusty blade.

Corlett’s actions violated the school’s policy against intimidation and harassment and barred him from attending for three terms. To return to the university, he would be required to undergo counseling.

Yes, please seek counseling immediately. Your pregnant teacher induced boners are not welcome at Oakland University.

Corlett sees it differently. Now living far from the Detroit-area university, in Sarasota, Fla., Corlett told the Associated Press, “When you get past the titillation, you’ve got to look into what’s really going on here. It’s academic freedom or no academic freedom. We’re all collectively dumbed when speech is suppressed or challenged.”

Corlett’s attorney reports Corlett is suing the school for mental anguish and the embarrassment of being kicked out.

“There is no constitutional protection against being offended,” Corlett said. “And while I am sympathetic to anyone’s feelings, I repeatedly asked for instruction. I was repeatedly told there were no topics that were out of bounds.”

Dude, c’mon. You’re just a creep. Did you really need to write about what made you horny? And specifically what in the classroom made you horny? But you know something, I hope Joe Corlett gets his day in court, because that is going to be some hot, steamy hilariously creepy testimony. It’ll probably sound something like this:

[via The NY Daily News]

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