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Olympic Medals From Rio Are Crumbling Faster Than Brazil’s Economy

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The 2016 Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics will best be remembered for the athletes that didn’t attend the games out of fear that their future children would go from world-class human specimens to the more freakishly tiny-headed, voodoo witch doctor victim side of the reproductive spectrum. For those who decided to risk life, limb, and zika baby, some were able to secure their legacy by locking down shoddy medals made from recycled materials that are now deteriorating in their trophy rooms with each passing second. Seriously. The gold, silver, and bronze awarded in Rio is now flaking apart less than a year after the closing ceremonies.

From Fox Sports:

“We’re seeing problems with the covering on between six or seven percent of the medals and it seems to be to do with the difference in temperatures,” Rio Games communications officer Mario Andrada said.
“Together with the IOC we’re setting up a system for replacing the defective medals,” he said, adding that the problem was prevalent mainly with silver medals and that the makers, the Brazilian mint, were undertaking the task.

Carmelo Anthony becomes the most accomplished U.S. Men’s Basketball player to ever pickup the rock in international play and you essentially award him a medal made from the trash of unwrapped gold foil chocolate coins that come in a mesh bag? Matt Kuchar backdoored his way into a 3rd place finish in classic Matt Kuchar fashion, and you can’t even get my man some sturdy material to put around his neck? You know Kuch is wearing and showing that bad boy off every chance he gets. And Melo? Melo doesn’t have much else to hold onto these days. I mean what’s crumbling faster: Melo’s life, his gold medal, or the abandoned venues Brazil built for two weeks of swimming and badminton? It’s tough to say. I’m sure those regulation handball courts are getting a lot of play these days, too. God, are third world Olympic games not the best?

[via Fox Sports]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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