Oreos are Gay Alright, Gay for Money

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The Oreo Corporation has taken a lot of flack recently for its gay pride campaign featuring an Oreo cookie with 6 colored cream stacks representing the gay pride rainbow. Below the deliciously unobtainable cookie are the date “June 25” and the word “Pride”. Something as controversial as a multicolored cookie has obviously blown the fuck up on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets. Comments range from devoted support to violent abandonment and the quoting of Biblical verses.

Obviously the company knows that it’s going to take hate from ultra-conservative customers, but the amount of new loyalty dwarfs the loss by comparison. Even if you are the most homophobic individual on the planet, are you really going to stop eating Oreos? Fuck no. That shit is delectable.

A lot of people think “Wow, Kraft foods is such a progressive company because they support gay pride.” But these people fail to realize the one simple truth about Capitalism: corporations don’t give a fuck about you. They only get involved in social-political issues when they smell a good profit margin. When they make a stance on a divisive issue, the only thing Nabisco hears from its supporters are: “Wow, this is a progressive company that cares about real issues.” “I’m a dumb fucking moron who is going to become a loyal customer because I’m too stupid to think critically.”

It’s not about who’s top or bottom, it’s about the bottom line. Corporations only “care” because they think they can turn their fake enthusiasm into profits. People who believe that corporations care about anything other than money are just as delusional as the alcoholic dad who thinks he can beat the gay out of his homosexual son. Plenty of other corporations have jumped on the gay bandwagon by sponsoring gay pride events.I don’t really think that Bud Light, NBC, Stella Artois, Wells Fargo, Johnson and Johnson, Bacardi, AT&T, and Coca Cola are in it for gay rights. They are in it for the money.

I believe in freedom, so I don’t give a shit if people want to be gay. This is America, do whatever you want. Be gay with each other all you want, just don’t get gay with me or on my possessions. Regardless of what you believe about homosexuality, I think we can all come to an agreement on one thing… those gay Oreos look fucking delicious.

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  1. 2
    TrickleDown

    I’m sick of TFM always tip-toeing on the gay issues. You guys don’t want to piss off either side so you always ignore the party about actually being gay.

    The fact of the matter is that liberals always need a new cause. Being gay is just their newest trend, and it is contributing to the destruction of the American family. Now, I’m not fundamentalist (in fact in nearly an Atheist) but you cannot deny that when you promote (via Hollywood, media, pop culture) a gay environment, the product is more gay people. Being gay is usually something you’re born with, but the right environmental factors can sway people who are “experimenting” or “unsure” to be gay, thus destroying the family even more.

    Why don’t you fucks wake up and realize that American culture is centered around infidelity, distorted gender roles, and homosexuality? This is not the norm in any other species.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 1
      JParksCaldwell1855

      I’d say that the factors behind Newt Gingrich’s marital history, couples like Britney and KFed, the destruction of the American middle class, a hesitancy towards corporal punishment, and an all-around sense of entitlement have contributed a hell of a lot more to the “destruction of the American family” (<and I don't even know what the hell that means) than some poo-pushers checking each other's small intestines.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      Cup of Bro

      The overall increase in tolerance of homosexuality is not causing more people to be gay, it is allowing more gay people to be open about their sexuality than in the past. People don’t suddenly wake up one day and say “Tom Cruise is gay, I think I’ll be gay too.” If someone is “experimenting” or “unsure,” they’re probably just gay.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 1
    Tallapoosa Snu

    “be gay all you want, just dont be gay with me or on my possessions.” classic. They should put that in the constitution. Also, I’m more worried about America getting access to a 6 frosting layered oreo than I am it looks like a rainbow.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. 0
    Hazing Actives

    Being an agency representative for a major CPG, I’ll gladly say that yes, we indeed give a metric fuck-ton of shits about making profit. On the other hand, we allocate 99% of their budget dollars to strict messaging to their target market. I wouldn’t take their brand perception down this fucking road, but then again, sometimes it’s better to have negative things said about a company publicly, than nobody talking at all…

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago