“Hi, Price Fallin, Rush Chairman, damn glad to meet you.”
Meet Price Fallin from the University of Oklahoma. He’s the sharp-looking, tux-wearing young man pictured above leaning on what I presume is a 4-wheeled chopper with a stogie in his mouth. He’s not the Rush Chairman, but he is the President of Fiji at OU and the son of Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin. He’s a leader, a visionary, a gentleman, and he has vast resources that he’s not afraid to exercise if a potential fruitful situation were to present itself. Well, it has – this Friday. What better way to lock down the scholarly future of America than hosting a rush party at Oklahoma’s Governor’s Mansion?
It’s unclear how he convinced his mother to let a huge group of 18 to 22-year-old horny, alcoholic lads throw a toga party at the Governor’s Mansion, but we’re glad he did, and a huge thanks to the bitter independent at The Lost Ogle for catching wind of the Fiji’s event calendar. The toga throwdown will take place this Friday, August 10, and the people at The Ogle seem a little sour that they weren’t Fiji material.
Patrick, the author of this write up, describes Price with the following:
“Okay, I made most of that up,” Patrick follows this up with. No, you made all of that up, you untruthful little pipsqueak. There is no party description listed anywhere. It doesn’t even say it’s a damn toga party.
Furthermore, when the second and third words of your article are “douche” and “bag,” you don’t expect people to take your shit seriously, do you? What evidence do you have against this kid other than a few arbitrary photos to suggest he’s a d-bag, as you say? You know this about him: 1. His mother is the Governor of Oklahoma, 2. He’s had at least one Keystone Light before, 3. He’s in a fraternity and attends fraternity parties, and 4. He likes putting blond girls in headlocks. Three words in, you’ve already given a strong vibe that you’re a whiny little twerp that got turned away from a Fiji rager, and your little blog piece is clearly intended to vilify young Price, someone whom I assume you have never shared a single spoken word with. I’m inclined to think the douche bag here is you, Pat.
Moving on, here’s Patrick’s fake writeup about the party:
Yep, my inclination was accurate. When you hear “fraternity party at Governor’s Mansion,” you immediately think of guy-on-guy erotica and date rape paraphernalia? It sounds like you have some questionable, possibly homosexual, inner-dialogue going on that you’re struggling with.
Pat, there’s going to be a lot of cool shit going on at this party, and assuming you are a heterosexual male as you imply, you’d give a testicle to be there. You’ll likely never be apart of anything similar in your lifetime. While you’re sitting in your apartment this Friday night thinking about the heinous acts of debauchery and high society glad-handing spreading around the Governor’s Mansion, and thinking about how you can further spread your envy through written word, picture this face (below) grinding away on some girl you will likely pass on campus wondering who gets to take her home. It’s Price. Price does.
And as if ole Pat hasn’t “douched” it up enough (since he likes that insult so much, he uses it twice in his article), he took it upon himself to email the Governor’s office to voice his complaints and ask a few questions. Really, Pat? You took it there? Your day wasn’t miserable enough, so you had to try and make someone else’s miserable as well? Pat’s gonna be that neighbor who calls the cops on the high school kids down the street every weekend for “drinking and causing a raucous.”
Pat, what the fuck, man? You just emailed the Governor’s Mansion about a party you are not invited to, asking if alcohol would be present. Is that really how far you’re taking this thing? What if they answered in the affirmative? Would you picket this party? Oh and by the way, they just lied to you. The alcohol will be flowing like a motherfucker. Congratulations, Patty. You’re damn near the perfect embodiment of a stereotypical GDI. Your preconceived, yet misplaced notions of university Greek culture combined with your whiny “those guys can’t get away with this” attitude are pathetic.
As for Price, you guys turn that place inside out. I just wish I could be there.
Pulling strings and throwing a rush party at the Governor’s Mansion. TFM.
Follow me on Twitter @RogerDornTFM
- [H/T to MiniMartha]
- [via The Lost Ogle]