Sitting down to a good American meal of hot wings washed down with cold beer is the pinnacle of relaxation. That’s all Packers tight end Jared Cook was looking for when he made a stop at Buffalo Wild Wings. Dude wanted a chill atmosphere and some good eats. What he got was fear, disgust, and hopefully a gift certificate when his plate came out featuring this little guy.
In B-Dub’s defense, that’s probably not even the worst thing they’d served that day. Newsflash: Bars need to stop putting off-the-wall stuff like tortilla chips and pulled pork on burgers. All of those things are delicious on their own, but any pledge who has had mayo and mustard in his Kool-Aid will vouch for the fact that amalgams aren’t always appetizing.
With that being said, few things will kill a vibe quite like getting a head in your wings. One moment you’re munching down on some lemon-peppery goodness and the next you’re literally staring death in the face. I’m all about eating some delicious fried animals, but that doesn’t mean I want to look little dude in the eye after chomping on his cousin’s appendages. Having it popped on you in the middle of dinner is a fate I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even a Lambeau-ner like Cook. It’s the kind of thing that ruins a guy’s week.
This raises a much scarier prospect, as well. Think about the last time you were drunk at a bar eating wings. Chances are you were too drunk to taste them, let alone look at them. They were just shoveled down and stripped of their meat in a sloppy hurricane of booze and sauce. Now, think about the inevitable piece of bone that likely got in your mouth at some point in that meal. You probably just put it in a napkin and carried on with your feast. What if it wasn’t a bone? What if it was a beak that you had unintentionally chewed on? My God, man. It had to have been a beak. That would explain all the puking the next morning. You’ve been eating chicken heads, not chicken wings. You’re a monster! Looks like a lot of folks, Cook included, will be switching to boneless from now on..
Image via YouTube