Pennsylvania Police Are Looking For Volunteers To Get Hammered On Their Dime

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Nice Move

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Newton Square police have a tough situation on their hands. They need at least 20 selfless individuals from the greater Philadelphia area to get drunk and eat free food.


The department is holding a field-sobriety training exercise for 24 officers from across Pennsylvania. The 20 volunteers it hopes to recruit have to go through three field-sobriety tests – horizontal gaze, walk and turn, and one-leg stand – given by officers looking to be certified, Vandegrift said.

The party – er, event – is scheduled for the BPG Conference Center in Newtown Square from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. May 6 and 7, he said.

No beer. No wine. Participants will have their choice of vodka, whiskey, or rum. No cheap stuff, either. Police don’t want anyone to get sick.

Surprisingly, the people stepped up and answered that call to duty in a big way. Just hours after their original Facebook post, the department was flooded with volunteer applications. Now, I know when you think of the Philadelphia area, the last thing that comes to mind is alcohol. We’re renowned for our clear, sober judgement and civilized actions, but we can throw a few back every now and then. Maybe not quite like the folks in Utah, but I think you’d be rather impressed with our tolerance.

According to the police, the “ideal candidate” won’t try to start a fight after drinking heavily. Not sure why they even brought that up: Delco is the suburbs of the “City of Brotherly Love,” after all. Violence just isn’t in our nature. Plus, this will be a month into the Phillies season, where we’ll be far and away the best team in Major League Baseball. The town’s morale will be at an all-time high.

It just sounds like a pleasant way to spend a Wednesday. Well worth that vacation day those definitely employed volunteers are taking off from their very real and rewarding jobs.


Image via Youtube


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