Philadelphia has a pretty bad rep, and my roommate, fellow TFM writer and native Philadelphian Dan Regester, is the epitome of that bad rep. Kid’s a walking Philly stereotype. The cheesesteak farts, the atrocious accent, the fact that his dog’s name is Chase Muttley — I’m legitimately scared to put up a Christmas tree this year in fear that Dan-o’s gonna camp out by it on Christmas Eve and pepper poor old Santa Claus with snowballs the second he steps foot out of our chimney.
Fittingly, the Philadelphia Eagles’ new quarterback, 2008 Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford, has a pretty bad rep as well: dude’s knee game is garbage. With 2 ACL injuries in the past 2 seasons, it’s pretty easy to see why Eagles fans are worried about his health. Dude hasn’t played a complete NFL season since 2012. That’s so long ago that if he had celebrated throwing a touchdown by ridin’ the pony Gangnam Style, it would have been topical.
After a career marred by injuries, Bradford’s trying to bounce back and reinvent himself this season with the Eagles. The fans want him to succeed, too, and they’re trying to use Pope Francis’ upcoming visit to Philly to secure some divine intervention on the matter via an online petition.
Here’s the description of the petition, from Change.org:
The Pope is coming to Philly! Our city! With this Eagles season coming up, a lot of our Super Bowl hopes rely on Sam Bradford’s knees staying healthy. So, with one of the most religious representatives in the world visiting our wonderful place we call home, how about we get him to bless Bradford’s knees during his visit to Philly! This town deserves a Super Bowl, and a healthy Bradford is the only way we will have a parade down Broad Street! Please sign this petition and Go Eagles and Welcome to Philly, Pope Francis!!!!
And here’s the petition itself:
You’ve gotta respect the bare minimum work this proud Philadelphian put into writing the petition. Seven words, all capitalized, and not a period in sight. That’s a Philadelphia public school education at work right there. He doesn’t even explain why Pope Francis should do this. I’d be pretty creeped out if I was His Holiness, but then again, I am pretty much the opposite of what anybody would describe as “papal,” so I could be pretty off the mark here.
Furthermore, I’m pretty sure that after this whole Bill Cosby thing, Temple University is trying to distance themselves from old men rubbing all up on young tail, so they might be a hard group to get on board with this idea.
The petition currently has a little under 3,700 signatures. If you want to hop on board the Pope rubbin’ bandwagon, you can sign the petition here . .