(PHOTO) Mizzou Parent’s Weekend Ends With Some Poor Sorority Girl’s Dad Crapping Himself At Fraternity House

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Parents can be so embarrassing, amiright? It’s like, you’re trying to have fun with your friends and then all of a sudden, someone runs into the room and goes, “OMG your dad is passed out and leaking feces, I think he might have just drunk himself to death!” and then you’re all, “ZOMG, Dad, are you kidding me?!?!?! You’re ruining my life!” Long story short: Worst. Parents weekend. Eh-ver.

Below is a photo of the aftermath of a dad’s explosive reaction to alcohol poisoning, which came to fruition at a fraternity that would very much like to remain nameless, and understandably so. Though to be fair, I don’t see how anyone could rationally hold a group of kids responsible for the actions of a grown, dumbass man. Then again, people who run Greek Life at most schools aren’t exactly rational.

According to a tipster, the pooper is the father of sorority girl who was at their fraternity house and whom I will keep as anonymous as possible, because this is pretty unfortunate. Hey, at least dad made it to the bathroom before slipping into his Bud Light induced death throes. I really hope for the sake of everyone involved that the girl didn’t take her dad to El Rancho the night before. If so this isn’t an “embarrassing scene” so much as it is a toxic disaster. I’m talking like someone let the BP oil spill people try to fix the Fukushima reactor, bad.

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That’s a nightmare. Sorry, pledges. As you can see, there appears to some blood mixed in with the crap schmear, which speaks to the intensity of this blackout shit storm, which I’m going to grade an F4. The boxers are completely toast as well, though there couldn’t have been much hope for those in the first place.

I really hope this isn’t a glimpse into my future.

***

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 12
    American

    After reading that first paragraph, I had to double-check the author on this one…Could have sworn it was Hot Piece at first…

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 12 months ago

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