You always knew how this one was going to end up. When one opponent marks its entrance into battle with a glorious, inspiring screech, and the other with an underwhelming honk reminiscent of the horn on a run-down jalopy, the result is pretty much already set in stone.
Earlier this month on Vancouver Island in Canada (the goose’s home turf, no less), a baldie had enough of one of those maple-sucking waterpansy’s stupid fucking beaks, so he decided to conquer his ass.
From Lisa Bell:
Wildlife experts claim the goose was merely playing dead as a form of self-defense, but that’s not what I think is going on here. As a wildlife expert in my own right (I wrote a 15-page dissertation on Mr. Hands), I believe that the bald eagle, always seeking a challenge, actually killed and then resurrected the goose because he wanted a better, longer fight. Pretty amazing stuff, right? Nature is crazy.
Demonstrating his good ol’ American mercy, the eagle decided to spare the honker, letting the goose live another depressing, Canadian day.
America, cluck yeah!.
[via Lisa Bell]
Image via Lisa Bell