First, the picture, because I’m well aware you came here to see a photo of two college kids simultaneously shoving each others’ privates in their mouths, not my commentary on it.
A few things:
1) Is the chick completely naked? It’s hard to tell but I see A LOT of skin. Seems unnecessary, but then again 69’ing on campus is pretty unnecessary in general. Have sex like normal people, you degenerates.
2) They appear to have absolutely no reaction to a clear flash, though to be fair it doesn’t seem like the guy can see much of anything.
3) The wall is one-sided. I feel like they’re unaware of that.
4) Is this a bucket list thing? Was the guy just seeing if he could pull this off? Who 69s in public? Who would want to 69 in public? If that guy is drunk (which is likely), it’s going to take him forever to finish. That’s why you got caught and that’s why your picture is on the internet, because you two aren’t good at public sex. Again, just bang.
5) Despite the fact that they’re hiding close to a wall, it seems like they’re in a pretty open space. It seems like a really open space, actually.
6) Can’t wait for the email asking us to take this picture down. I hope they threaten to sue, because that will give me many lolz, especially if it’s true. Everyone at that law firm is laughing at you. Seriously, all the lawyers and clerks and interns and secretaries have passed around this picture and deemed you a fucking idiot. They are in no way acting professional about this, even if they say they are.
7) There’s like a 10% chance that’s Johnny Manziel with a face full of muff.
A helpful reader has sent us a daytime shot of where the infamous 69’ing took place. Apparently it’s just behind Northgate, the College Station bar district. Wow, they may as well have been going to town on each other in the middle of a busy intersection.
Also, thanks to those two bros for 69’ing each other, lest we forget what 69’ing was.