Animal Rights activists love all of God’s creatures, big and small, adorable and disgusting. Pigeons, or as they’re more commonly known, flying rats with AIDS* are no exception.
*Ed. Note: I also considered using hobos of the sky, ghetto doves, winged hepatitis, and dumpster chickens.
So it’s no surprise that the animal rights group SHowing Animals Respect and Kindness (SHARK) is none too happy about the pigeon shoots taking place at the Wing Pointe commercial hunting grounds in Berks County, Pennsylvania.
To prove that the shoots are inhumane, SHARK has been flying their “Octocopter,” a remote controlled flying machine with a video camera attached, over the pigeon shoots. The hippie spy drone was doing some reconnaissance Monday when hunters spotted the drone and opened fire, shooting it down.
The gunshot that hit the drone caused $4,000 in damage, or the equivalent value of two billion pigeons. According to SHARK, this is the fourth time the hunters have shot at one of their drones.
“When they do this, it only makes us more determined,” said (president of SHARK, Steve) Hindi. “We are going to see these pigeon shoots stopped.”
Hindi added, “because these creatures, like all animals, deserve to live a full life and die naturally, which in the case of pigeons is to be trapped in a dumpster and eaten alive by vagrants and stray cats.”
Pennsylvania State Police are currently investigating the incident, sources say. The Berks County District Attorney confirmed that the shoots are completely legal, but said he is worried about the escalating situation, calling it a “potentially deadly cat and mouse game” between the Wing Pointe hunters and SHARK.
SHARK members were naturally offended at the District Attorney’s analogy, which harkened images of animal violence, and immediately began flying camera drones over his home, to make sure he was not actually pitting cats and mice against each other in some sort of gladiatorial game. Meanwhile, the hunters returned to Wing Pointe, killed a thousand pigeons, and were given a medal… hopefully.
[h/t to reader @CBWoodard]