That’s right, I used the “P” word in my headline. Was it necessary? No, not really, but someone has to take a stand against this new wave of ultra-trendy bleeding-heart political correctness that’s sweeping the internet. Bunch of fucking pussies who obviously never endured hours of bows ‘n toes in a cold, dark basement.
The fear of being considered a pussy is the single most powerful force driving a man’s decision making, for better or worse.
“Should I major in Business or Art History? Well, I love art, but I don’t want my boys to call me a pussy, so fuck it, International Business sounds legit.”
Starbucks Barista: “Would you like room for cream?”
Internal Monologue: “Fuck yeah I would, but I’m going to say no because non-pussies drink their coffee black.”
“Small electric car with exceptional gas mileage and low environmental impact or a family size SUV for your solo 30 minute daily commute to the office?” You guessed it, I drive a Tahoe.
Look, I understand that this mentality can sometimes lead to illogical and/or destructive decision making. I get why hypersensitive social activists attempt to make men feel like it’s okay to be soft. What these pussification crusaders don’t get is that a man’s desire to not be a pussy is also what pushes him to achieve greatness.
“Should I wake up early and run before work or snuggle under my warm blanky for another hour?”
“Should I take a large professional risk to accelerate my career or sit stagnant in my secure dead end job that I hate?”
“Should I propose to my girlfriend of 4 years and take the first major leap into adulthood, or should I fear such a serious commitment?”
With all the hate and fear mongering in the media aimed at fraternities, I want to shine a light on the single most beneficial aspect of joining a fraternity: Pledgeship. Good old fashioned get-your-balls-hazed-off pledgeship where you are forced to endure extreme physical and mental challenges, where you build unexplainable bonds with your pledge brothers, and where what it truly means to be a man is reinforced. (To be clear, I’m not talking about the irresponsible, dangerous hazing that gives us fraternity men a bad name. If you don’t know the difference, then please do not participate in “pledge education” activities.)
Here are three very significant lessons that I learned during pledgeship that made me less of a pussy.
Pledgeship Put My Ego In Check
When I entered college, I knew I wanted to be in a fraternity. I was fresh out of high school, ready to dominate my college experience. Rush was amazing. I was invited to multiple parties every night where I was showered with free booze and introduced to countless beautiful sorority girls. College was exactly what I expected it to be and more. Then finally the day came where I accepted my bid card — my ticket to four years of pure glory. There was just one caveat: first I had to go through pledgeship.
It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I truly believed the active members when they told me they were a non-hazing fraternity. I had no clue what pledgeship was all about. I honestly thought I was joining a really cool drinking club. During my first pledge lineup, I was smacked in the face with a dose of reality. Literally. Pledgeship broke down my ego like nothing else I had ever experienced in my life. I quickly learned that true glory is earned, not given, and that nothing good in life comes free or easy.
I Learned The Importance Of Accountability And Personal Responsibility
Pussification is killing the concept of accountability. It’s never your fault. There’s always someone or something to blame for your “misfortune,” and there’s always a comforting embrace for those who just aren’t good enough.
Can’t hold a job because you love booze too much? Not your fault, bro. You’ve got an unfortunate disease called “alcoholism.”
^ Sounds like drinking alcohol is causing you serious problems. How about you just stop putting alcohol in your mouth? You’re cured! Pussy.
You’re painfully unathletic and couldn’t throw a baseball from third to first to save your life? Hold your head up little guy! You get a trophy too!
^ Maybe put down the Xbox controller, get outside, and throw a ball around. Earn that fucking participation trophy! Pussy.
Pledgeship taught me the importance of accountability and taking responsibility for my actions. If I fucked up, the whole pledge class was punished. When your shortcomings negatively affect those you care about, you become extra aware of how much control you actually have over your actions.
I Experienced A Revitalization Of My Physical And Mental Endurance
Did you play sports in high school?
Baseball was my sport growing up, and I was exceptionally average at it. When I got to high school, I switched to lacrosse. By junior year, I fully committed my talents to the Austin High Drinking Team and I never looked back. Needless to say, my endurance training fell to the wayside in favor of alcohol tolerance training. When I got to college, I couldn’t run around the block without sucking wind. It was pathetic. Pledgeship, and, more specifically, the physical hazing aspects of pledgeship, revitalized my appreciation for intense physical and mental endurance. Pushing your mind and body to their absolute limits is the cornerstone of being a non-pussy.
There’s a war against masculinity in America, and fraternity pledgeship might be our only hope. Don’t be a pussy, go Greek..