Prevailing Theory On The Dead Bear Dumped On NC State’s Campus Is That It Was Done In Hopes Exams Would Be Canceled

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A lot of unsubstantiated rumors get emailed to us here at TFM. For example, “Bacon, your gay.” My gay what!? At least finish your thought! I HAVE TO KNOW! There’s also the ever popular, “Bacon loves huge wieners.” That, I have to admit, is true. And there is photographic evidence to back that claim up.

ilovewieners

There you have it. Thing was bigger than my head, and I loved it.

Usually we try not to run hearsay, but a tipster from NC State that I’ve been corresponding with today in regards to the dead black bear left on NC State’s campus on Tuesday morning has provided some interesting details, and has been pretty forthcoming with what they believe to be true. They made a compelling case, and also happen to be on a high ranking Greek Life governing body, so screw evidence. Here, according to one NC State student, is why the bear was dumped on a random park bench on the NC State campus.

Here’s the deal on the bear. Someone thought it would be a good idea to put it there with the delusional hope that they wouldn’t have to take their final exam that day pending a campus alert saying that a wild animal was at large on campus.

Only mystery still at hand is how it was killed, there wasn’t any blood so it wasn’t shot, my speculation is it got hit by a truck.

That theory [about getting an exam canceled] has been kept very quiet across campus (rather than all the general ideas of it just being some weird pledge prank…which it’s too late for anyway since pledge season is over), but I can’t tell you where it [the rumor] came from.

This morning, North Carolina Wildlife confirmed after they completed their necropsy that the bear was, in fact, struck by some sort of vehicle.

If it is true that the bear was found and dumped just so some kid could have their test canceled for the day, it’s at least better than a bomb threat. Looking at you, Harvard. But is studying hard really more difficult than finding a dead bear, transporting it, stealthily dragging the big dead animal across campus in the middle of the night, and leaving it on a bench? I’ll grant a “maybe” on that.

According to our tipster, the student(s) who left the bear must have been desperate, because the bear is more likely to have come from western North Carolina and been transported to Raleigh than found anywhere around NC State’s campus.

Don’t know why they picked a bear though. Bears are hard to find around this part of NC…not to mention the serious illegality as opposed to some other large animal they could’ve picked. Not saying there are not bears here, but a lot of people are thinking it was brought here from western NC since it had been dead for at least a day.

And, of course, our tipster had suspicions about who exactly pulled this off. They claimed it could quite possibly be a member or members of one of three fraternities at NC State, though they believe one of the three they listed is most certainly not the culprit, as they know them well enough to have apparently confirmed as much. I won’t bother listing the houses here, because there’s no need to drag any fraternities into this without actual evidence.

There is a very high possibility it was one of the above fraternities listed, but it can definitely be narrowed down to a CALS (college of agriculture and life sciences student)….no way a math major is pulling this off.

People will do anything to get out of taking a test.

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