Prince Harry Likes To Party, Wants Some Privacy

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Apparently Prince Harry likes to party. Prior to returning home from a tour in Afghanistan, and months after nude pictures of the Prince began circulating in tabloids, Harry has opened up:

In a candid interview conducted on the eve of his return to Britain from Afghanistan, the soldier Prince said he found life in the Army made it ‘easy to forget’ who he was.

That makes sense. Any civilized military functions best when everyone operates as a part of a machine. Over there he’s not “Prince Harry,” he’s “Captain Wales,” who has the same responsibilities as any other captain in the British military, regardless of his noble lineage.

And let’s not forget that this was his last chance to really throw down before he left for war in Afghanistan. He did what any military man would do: he went out and partied like it was his last because that’s a very real possibility. To judge a man for wanting to get fucked up one last time before risking his life for freedom is just plain un-American, even if Harry is British.

The problem is that he’s famous and rich. When the military mentality of “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em” combines with the resources a British Prince can afford, you will inevitably wind up with tabloid-selling levels of debauchery. Then add a royal title and there’s no way he can avoid the front cover.

Of course, like anyone else, Harry has been told off by family for his shenanigans:

The 28-year-old says Prince Charles tells him ‘Remember who you are.’

For those of you who think that line sounds familiar, that’s because it is. It’s the exact line Cloud-Mufasa says to Simba about an hour into “The Lion King.” That’s right, Charles, I’m calling you out. You thought you were being all deep and shit, didn’t you? Now everyone knows that you have to borrow parenting tips from a Disney movie. Granted, it does work in this context, but you couldn’t come up with something more original? What other pressing matters do you have to tend to other than lecturing your younger son about how he should tone it down?

While Harry does apologize for letting his family down by being photographed playing strip-billiards, he still maintains that it’s not really his fault:

“But at the end of the day I was in a private area and there should be a certain amount of privacy that one should expect.”

That’s the spirit! There is a huge difference between “I’m sorry” and “I’m sorry I got caught,” and both of them can be completely valid. He’s sorry he got caught because it was embarrassing for his family, just like how I don’t want my family to know everything I’ve done at parties. Is he sorry that he did it? Fuck no! He found some cute girls and played a friendly game of strip-pool with them. There is nothing wrong with that. The man can pull. Any other man in that same situation would’ve done the same thing, just probably wouldn’t have made international news.

I can see where Harry’s coming from with all of this. Sure, most of us enjoy recognition when we can get it, but there are definitely tons of times when anonymity comes in handy.

Harry, if you want to continue partying (and we know you do), it may be a good idea to work on an American accent to throw the paparazzi off. And you’ll have to lay off the Prince-card for a while, even if it does have a 100% success rate.

[via Daily Mail]

Image via Mirror News

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  1. Minervas Medic

    We need an American leader like this. Pisses off the Taliban by comparing killing them to video games and barely apologizing for getting international coverage for playing a few rounds of find the Prince of Wales dick. Pretty damn fratty.

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  2. FreedomandFratting

    What the f*%$ is the point of being a prince if you can’t abuse the hell out of your power? Isn’t that what royalty is supposed to do? Is he supposed to be out slaying dragons or something? I would tell the media, and Prince Charles to suck my royal schlong. Rage on, you royal bastard you.

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