Princeton Review Names the Top Ten Least Studious Universities

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The Princeton Review, arbitrary ranker of all things useless, has named their top ten least studious universities in the country and the list has a distinctly southern flavor. That flavor, in case you’re wondering, has a sort of smoky, papery aftertaste, as it was crafted over the flames of burning books.

Coming in at number one is the University of Alabama, ranked atop the polls in both football and apparently illiteracy as well. But to be fair, the Alabama students want to read, Nick Saban just won’t let them. Why? I don’t know, because he’s a dick? Also making an appearance is Ole Miss, a school that is not good at football, so what the fuck’s your excuse? Just kidding, I’d never leave the Grove either.

There are a few random appearances on the list as well, like the University of North Dakota. I guess their inclusion is understandable. I mean, why study when North Dakota has all that wonderful nothing to offer? The City University of New York – Baruch College, is also on the list. I literally know nothing about this school. Not only do I know nothing about this school, but I do not care to know anything about it, so I’ll just make a sweeping generalization about how the hipsters there are shunning their studies because college diplomas are so 90’s (they really are though).

The full list below:

1. University of Alabama
2. University of North Dakota
3. West Virginia University
4. City University of New York- Baruch College
5. University of Mississippi
6. University of Maryland – College Park
7. Florida State University
8. University of Iowa
9. James Madison University
10. University of Alabama – Birmingham

[Source]

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Rob Fox

Rob Fox (né Bacon) is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Rob is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 3
    ReaganKA

    “Alabama students want to read, Nick Saban just won’t let them.” Is that a Nazi Germany reference intended to compare Hitler to Nick Saban Bacon? I also caught a “burning books” comment in there too. If so it was nicely done.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
  2. 1
    FrattybyBirth

    Hotty Toddy, Roll Tide, and whatever the fuck FSU says. All of the other schools on this list suck anyhow. If you’re northern, you don’t get it unless you attend one of these three schools. If you think Ole Miss or Alabama are trash, you obviously haven’t been there.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago

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