Proper Football Game Etiquette
Some girls don’t like sports, so it’s hard for them to be entirely interested in attendance at a football game. However, if you attend a southern school that is big on football and you don’t like sports, you were dumb for choosing that school. Whether or not you like football, bowl season is upon us. If you are lucky enough to be asked to attend a football game, especially a bowl game, you should know a few things first, or you won’t even realize how annoying you’re being.
Do Not Make Comments When You Don’t Understand The Game
I have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of us don’t understand football, mainly because we don’t start learning the game from the age of five like our male counterparts. If you have absolutely no idea what’s going on in the game, don’t act like you’re a commentator on SportsCenter. It won’t make you look like you’re “cool” because you “care,” it will make you look like a dumbass. Boys don’t think it’s cute. My friend is still being ridiculed for thinking Willie Nelson was black. (That situation had nothing to do with football, but you get the point.) I encourage you to learn and understand some football terms like “quarter,” “touchdown,” “field goal,” and “first down,” because it isn’t funny to ask “what inning” you’re in. If you don’t care to learn the rules, just follow the crowd and you’ll figure out when to cheer and when to boo.
Phones, Just Don’t
It’s bad enough to stand there blatantly uninterested, but much like on any other date, whipping out your phone during a game is beyond rude. Even if you have zero concern for the game, have some consideration for the people who do, and at least act like you want to be there. You probably won’t have service during the game anyway, so just leave your phone in your purse. The only times it’s acceptable to take out you phone is if you are looking up the score of another game, stats, or BCS standings, or when you’re trying to take a picture. If you’re using your phone for its camera, do so during a timeout when nothing exciting is happening, and be careful not to block people’s view of the field.
Research The Team, Players, School Traditions
If you are nervous about sounding like a complete dipshit during the game, take the time beforehand to do a little research. It’s not as daunting as it seems, I promise. Download the ESPN ScoreCenter app or the ESPN College Football app. They’ll keep you up to date with all of your teams, and your date will be totally impressed you know that AJ McCarron is the number one quarterback in Division I football. I’d also suggest having ESPN’s College Game Day playing on your TV as you get ready. Your pretty little head will be filled with information about college football.
If you’re at your own school’s game you should already know the fight song, and any traditional cheers that are chanted throughout the stadium. One of the most fun parts about football games is the in-your-face school spirit, especially when you’re winning and your team kicks ass. If you’re visiting another school, learn a few of the traditions and chants. Every team has small, unique chants or song lyrics they shout out during games, and it’s fun to know them and cheer along with your friends. I urge you to participate in every school song, alma mater, fight song, and unique song lyric you can.
Keep The Talking To A Minimum (Unless You’re Talking Shit)
When you go to a football game, you’re not there to talk, you’re there to watch. If you’re going to talk, keep it restricted to football-related topics. Utilize halftime or timeouts to ask any questions. If you wanted to talk about the latest episode of The Bachelor, you should have stayed in with a glass of wine and your girls.
One of the most annoying things a girl can do during a game is complain: “My feet hurt. Is it over yet? How much longer?” You can handle four-inch heels all night, so I think you can stand to spend a few hours in boots, and if not, you’re not worthy of your Jimmy Choo stilettos. Be a good date, stop bitching, and have some fun.
If you absolutely must talk during the game, try talking shit about the other team with your date. You’re in a sorority, so you know it’s fun to shit-talk. Plus, you’re good at it. Just be your passive aggressive self, but up the aggressiveness and the volume.
Stand And Pay Attention
If you’ve ever been to a quality college football game, you know that everyone stands. Literally everyone. You will hardly ever see a person sitting down. So, if everyone is standing, you should be standing. (Plus, why would you want to sit? You can’t see, and it’s totally awkward having your eyes waist-level. You know…in that situation.) The only time you should sit during a football game is halftime or if your team is losing.
You should always pay attention to the game. After all, that’s why you’re there. One of the coolest things you can possibly do in college is go to a big game, watch it, and then tell everyone who wasn’t there that you were. You had the privilege of being at a game other people are sore over missing, so take pride in it.
So ladies, if you’ve been invited to a bowl game, you should definitely go. They are extremely exciting and can be pivotal moments in sports history. Grab your pompoms, cutest gameday outfit, and follow these rules, and you might not be the most annoying person there.