Quantum Physics Professor Strips To 9/11, Hitler On First Day Of Classby Bronan the Barbarian 10 months ago
What do Hitler, 9/11 and Saddam Hussein have in common? Well, before this, nothing, except for the occasional crazy conspiracy theory involving inside jobs, the Illuminati, and lizard people. Now though, they’ve all been in the same weird stripper montage.
According to our reports, the first class of the physics unit was running a bit late when the lights went out. When they came back on, professor Emlyn Hughes was in the spotlight.
Then Snoop Dogg’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot” started playing in some sort of weird combination with deadmau5, Billy Joel, and Die Antwoord and he started to undress and put on a hoodie and sunglasses. After that, he curled up into a fetal position in his chair as images of 9/11, Nazi Germany, and North Korea started playing on the projector.
Oh…oh no. I don’t know about you all, but a pasty white male physics professor stripping is not what I look for when I go to class, or to the strip club. This is like crazy physics performance art. Somewhere out there, thousands of angry humanities majors wonder why they didn’t do this themselves and win some crazy acting award none of us have ever heard of.
This whole thing was just fucking strange. The sped-up “Snoop on Helium” version of Drop It Like It’s Hot, the horrifying video montage, the professor with a vaguely fitting stripper name (Emlyn), the ninjas who came on stage at the end and smashed puppets…there aren’t really any words that do this justice, because I don’t think we’ve invented them yet.
If you can make it to the end of the video, he begins explaining the whole thing as trying to give students an idea of how alien the concept of quantum physics is. I’m pretty sure everyone missed that point, though, because they were too busy uploading video of their professor doing the world’s worst new age strip/yoga routine. This routine would literally have been less distracting if he instead brought Kate Upton or Jessica Alba out on stage to strip.
For the record, this happened at Columbia, an Ivy-league school where yearly tuition is 22,000 dollars. Good to see that tuition is going to the important things in life: amateur stripping as a metaphor for universal mechanics.
Image via Mediaite
Got a news story that we should know about? Send us a tip at email@example.com.
Also by Bronan the Barbarian
- An Open Letter From Your Greek Week Chairman
- Southern Miss. Greeks Are Killing It With Their Philanthropy
- Miramar Beach Officials Try Desperately to Keep College Kids Away This Spring Break
- 9% Of Yale Students Claim To Have Taken Money For Sex
- Texas Tech Hoping To Have The Trendiest Coach, Team In College Football